Today, or was it yesterday first, yes, yesterday, awoke on sofa. Luvbug off to work. This morning; awoke on floor in front of fire with Scooter. I am still in MOnday's clothes. But as I can't seem to remember what day it is....
Excuses excused me from appoinments. I fed my dinner to the birds.
Angry today, angry angry, couldn't find something. WHy is everywhere in this house such a mess? Understair cupboard; why so many boxes? So much packaging? OUT OUT OUT.
Luvbug and mother arrive mid cardboard exile. I overhear him guide my mother through the storm.
I stop for cups of tea. And Lorazepam. My friend today. I forget how many I've had. And a pregabalin. What the hell. Luvbug leans over me and strokes my arm. I tell him, sorry,sorry Im not normal. Just as he is saying I'm fine and that he loves me, that word 'sorry' turns into a rabbit, I mean a real, live, rabbit, and it runs along his arm and I smile. It's tiny and long and slim. Grey. I've seen a few of them since.
*hugs* xx
ReplyDeleteYou are a very special person. I am sending you hugs, too!
ReplyDeletegasp no warning huh??You are so brave always remember that - do foods help control dark episodes or not?
ReplyDeleteUh-oh. Hold on. It always gets better again.
ReplyDeleteHelena dear, sorry about not coming by earlier. Sad to hear it's all grey there, but honey I'm praying for a rainbow that extends to you. Please hang on there.
ReplyDeleteDon't be too hard on yourself. You've given your best, the rest will be being kind to yourself. Hugs..
Big hugs. And another one from Beanie.
ReplyDeleteHang on Helena. I'm sending you much love. Please get some help if you can and as Stardust said, be kind to yourself. xxxx
ReplyDeleteBIG BIG hugs to you my friend... xxxx
ReplyDeleteOh Helena, try to hang on honey - as others have said it will get lighter again but my heart and loads of hugs are with you chick! Di xxx
ReplyDelete)))))thank you all (((((
ReplyDelete