And NOW I have SAND in my pants.

Note to USA readers: by pants, I mean underpants, shorts or panties, ok? ;) (LOL)

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A few years ago I was listening to a Saturday morning show on Radio 4, one headed up by the late John Peel. A theme had been forming over the previous weeks, on family sayings.

It had started out as different names for the remote control. For example, I call it the bodger, as did all my family. My partner calls it the yolk, which meant remote in his family. You get the idea. (What do you call yours?)

OK. This particular morning produced the weirdest saying of all: "And NOW I have sand in my pants."

The listener who had written in with this one explained that, as a youth, he had been dragged off to a Venture-Scout Outward-bound weekend. Everything went wrong, starting with having to go against his will in the first place.

When they went for a run, he tripped. When they climbed, he fell over. He forgot to pack his lunch. When they went canoeing, and had to tip over upsidedown, his glasses fell off. He followed them down and crawled about trying to find them. Crawling up the riverbank, spluttering while his friends all laughed, he said, with complete seriousness and utter venom, "And NOW I have SAND in my pants!"

And so, among his family and friends, from that day on, this was the phrase people used when they meant that they had met the very last straw. The final insult. The cherry on the cake of blah.

Good, isn't it?

Anyway. That news I got yesterday was the sand in my pants. I've had a bad week or so and the effect on my brain has been to shift into a lower gear. Those out there who've been there will know what I mean. If you don't, imagine when your computer goes wrong and will only open up in safe mode. This means only the very essential processes will function. (Oh, and they throw it into black and white, too. You never thought you'd long to see that microsoft blue did you? But in safe mode it's like when you've missed a period- Oh God, please, no, I promise to be good from now on, just make it come back, pleeeeeeease!)

Sheez I just remembered my partner's mum visits here. Ooops. Hullo!

Where was I. Oh yes. Here's another saying: I used to know someone who would call the week I'm having "a week to throw sh*t at". And she wouldn't have used the star.

But maybe things are changing. I checked my email and my little brother (little as in 10 inches taller but 9 years younger) has got a job. Horray! He had been looking for a few months and was getting sooooo depressed.

I think it may have been a desperate call from him last week that started all this actually. He sounded so low, I was seriously worried about him and begged him to see a doctor. He said, "What for? Pills? No! That's YOUR way of dealing with it. Not MINE." It knocked me back, it really did. Antidepressants have been a necessity round here for a long long time. I won't accept any stigma about it. If I had diabetes I'd have meds. If I had a heart condition I'd have meds. I have depression, I have meds. Big deal. Move along please, nothing to see here....

I went to bed earlier but my head was too busy. So I'm up sipping tea and eating crunchy nut bars and watching Law & Order with the subtitles on. I wonder who does those? Maybe I could get a job doing that. Maybe I wouldn't have to leave the house then, and I could lessen the danger of getting sand in my pants ;)