Seizing your memories....

As always, thanks for all your messages of support :)

Mum is still in hospital but could be home tomorrow. They added lamotrigine to her anti-seizure meds and kept her in to make sure she had no bad reaction to it.

As to what happened, that's still a mystery. She had a temperature, and that caused a seizure in her sleep so that she didn't wake up. What caused the temperature, we don't know. An infection, they thought, but couldn't find one anywhere. They treated her with anti-biotics till the temperature came down. They chased the last hospital for their MRI results but they never sent them (she had an MRI on 25th March and we've never had the results). So they did a CT Scan which proved normal....

I found her Monday morning. She wasn't conscious for 24 hours after that, going in and out of sleep and delirium. She was all over the place or completely out of it. Nothing in between. Except for one moment, just one, when her eyes managed to fix on mine and she whispered, "I can't take this any more." I tried to talk to her, but she was gone again, unable to reach any more words, jabbering again, reeling again. It was heartbreaking. We left the hospital at midnight that day, the first day.

She has been coming back bit by bit again, but as with the other times, there are big memory gaps. She has no memory of her house move. I took her a photo of her bungalow, and this is starting to come back to her, but the move has gone. So too have all the names of her neighbours, the bus routes, the walks we took, the shops we explored. We have to start again as though she just moved here.......

The hospital is much better than the one she was in in Kent. Finally, she will be under a neurologist. I hope the follow-ups are good. We need to get this under control, as each time I lose a little bit more of her...... her cognitive skills are suffering.... every day, the same questions, no memory of their answers....

Mum in hospital again... another seizure..... can't stop....please keep everything crossed.

Enough already. Let's have a smile.

When mum and I were waiting to leave hospital on Monday, as the hospital pharmacy inexplicably took 7 hours to dispense her medicine, we started chatting to the woman in the bed opposite, named Pamela.

When the subject moved on to pets, and specifically cats :) she told us that she had had a cat years ago who was so special, she couldn't bear the thought of taking another after she'd gone. (I *think* its name was Susie. But can't quite remember that bit properly....)

It was a British Blue.........Pamela's husband gave her Susie as a kitten, as an engagement present, and she lived with them till dying in her sleep at age 22 (awwww...)

But the best story of all is this:

For 2 decades, each Friday, when Pamela was walking home from work, Susie would meet her half way along the road, at the Newsagent's. Pam would then nip in and buy a tube of Rolos: a ration of 2 Rolos was Susie's weekly treat. She loved them.I love this story. It goes against all veterinary advice, but goes straight to the soul of a cheeky, independent wee cat who knows what she wants and how to get it. I find it so cute when animals adopt a routine!

And HURRAYYY for disobeying the rules and living beyond our expected years!

I can just picture her chewing away on them, then trotting the rest of the way home with her mum, purring, and pausing now and then for a leg rub.

Brilliant!

*** *** *** *** ***

Hope Pamela does well. She has MS. She'd been in hospital 3 weeks and couldn't wait to escape. Thanks for helping to pass the hours, Pam, wherever you are!

Don't know what to say any more...

I showed Mum some photo's of the bungalow she' buying. She didn't remember anything about the house move, so we are planning to take her up to our place on Saturday for the day, and while there, arrange with the Estate Agent another viewing of the bungalow.

So anyway, I thought it would be best to show her some pic's of it, so that it wouldn't be a big shock on the day. I found some photo's of the place this evening and showed her them. "OH YES!!" she said, and seemed happy, as she admired the pictures of the bungalow's interior....

....and shortly after, she was a fit of worry, chewing her lip, clenching her hands.

SHIT SHIT SHIT

Shouldn't have shouldn't have shouldn't have.

Didn't think.

Bugger.

She had got past the worry and was looking forward to it.
Now we're back at square one- rambling worries like this:
don't know what to do for the best, don't know if I should do it, how do I move? Should I? What do you think? How do I move the furniture? Do I have to take the carpets with me? How do I move all this stuff? What about all the books? What if some of the papers they need are missing? What about the stuff in that cupboard? Nothing has been signed yet has it?

I KNOW these are natural worries that ANYONE would go through with a house move, let alone someone who hasn't moved address for 27 years. But I have had to answer these queries 20 times over BEFORE this latest seizure. Now the seizure has wiped all the answers again. So I have to be patient, and humouring, and quiet and gentle. Again. Again. Again.

Not sure I am up to it. I HAVE to be, dammit. I HAVE to be.

But I am crumbling inside.

Can anyone who hasn't been here possibly understand how exhausting it is, to answer and reassure over the same thing, over and over? And knowing it will just pop up again the next day, or a few days after, and then you'll have to do it again?

I have this laptop -thanks be to Luvbug for getting the mobile access sorted out!- and I have treated myself to a few craft magazines this week. But I cannot lose myself in these things for more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time because then another question pops up and I have to address it. Even if I already did. Just now, in fact.

I have emergency back-up pills for when I am getting stressed. I know when I need to take them because the extremes of the bi-polar thing start to kick in: hearing things, for example. Man, I've been thinking there were mice upstairs but last night, if that was mice, they were wearing hobnail boots...... but if I take one of the pills I'll be wooooozy. I won't be able to get up at 5 like yesterday or 6 like today..... and if I don't, and she has another seizure like last Friday morning's......

And then at the same time there is the guilt- I should be able to. When I was a child, how many times did I ask the same question?

But underneath it all, chewing away and getting bigger and bigger is the screaming fact that I have 3 siblings, and I'm doing this all without them.

NOT ONE CALL this week.

Then I find myself making excuses for one of them because he told me on Monday that he is seeing a P-doc. Ahhh poor thing, I thought. Yes, I must make allowances for that. He's in therapy.

WAIT A M....-?????????

SO AM I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just had a phone call from Luvbug..... nice and calm now.... ish. Mum is watching tv with the sound off again. She is staring at a shark. I have just put a stew on to cook. In half an hour we'll make dumplings........sorry to go on and on..... you don't have to read it, I just need to get it out...

Mum's Home

Yesterday at 11am, Mum rang my mobile from the hospital to tell me that they were discharging her. I was already on the train, on my way to her!

Despite telling her before 11 that she was going home, the hospital pharmacy didn't deliver her going-home meds till 6pm. So we- and the woman in the bed opposite- we hanging around all afternoon.

When I arrived about midday, I asked mum if the doctor had said anything to her about why she had been admitted. He hadn't. She said that he had seemed surprised to see her still in hospital. The date on the discharge form was Saturday's, so what the other nurse had said was correct- he hadn't reviewed her case since Saturday morning, when he said that she was "fit" to go home.

So! Off Helena the Avenger goes again, straight to the nurse station on the ward. I asked if anything has been said about epilepsy -NO, had anyone spoken to her about the fit she had? -NO, were there any leaflets about epilepsy we could take home? -NO, any advice re management of the condition? -NO, were we sure now that it WAS epilepsy? -DON'T KNOW. Erm, can I speak to a doctor, please? No, they are on other wards now.
OK, erm, I am not willing to take mum home till I have spoken to a doctor.
Nurse pulls face and takes deeps breath.
"OK well, I'll go and call him then."
I wait for 15 minutes...... she returns-
"Well a house doctor can come and see you but it won't be for a least an hour. She said to call the registrar but the registrar isn't answering her buzzer. Dr DM (the most we were allowed to know of his name) is busy with sick patients now."
WHA????
"MY MOTHER is a sick patient!" I repeated that I needed to see someone because we still didn't know WHY mum had had a seizure.
"Well they'll cover that in clinic. He's making an appointment for her in a few months where he can answer your questions there. In the meantime, if it happens again, you'll just have to bring her back."
WHA????
"Erm, no, it has ALREADY happened 4 TIMES. I want to know why."

...... FINALLY. The mysterious "Dr DM" appeared in a hour, accompanied by a registrar, and off I went into a little room with them, followed by the nurse I'd been badgering. Obviously, witnesses were required in case I punched someone by now. Ha.

The upshot is this- he thinks it is epilepsy.
So, I ask, where did it come from? Another doctor at the hospital (it's becoming like a song, another suitcase in another hall, another doctor on a another ward...) had told me that it was very rare for anyone in later life to develop epilepsy. Dr DM disagreed. He said the other doctor was talking out of her hat. Mum, he told me, shrugging, probably had it in childhood anyway.
OH NO SHE DID NOT!!!!!!!
Er, ok then, but she has got it now.

They think that the meds she was on was ok- sodium valproate, but it failed to prevent Friday's seizure because "her infection lowered the threshold for a fit".
OK, so does she have to take a higher dose?
"Oh, yes, that's an idea. I'll think I'll raise it..." Dr DM gives a note to the registrar.
Hey, good job I suggested that, huh?

No real info re epilepsy, no notes, nothing on what type it is. But there is always the internet, I am told, which is a great source of information. Hey, you're telling me! You should see the reviews you can find on here about Medway Hospital!

So I got mum home in a taxi by 7 last night.
She slept ok.
I didn't.

Today there are still enormous gaps in her memory.
I recall having these worries back in November, and I think the memory gaps came back ok.
I hope they do this time, too.

Mum doesn't remember anything about the house being up for sale, about moving to the bungalow etc. Just as well, really, as the buyer has just this weekend announced that he wants to drop his offer by £10,000- which we simply can't afford to do. If he insists, the sale is off. We'll have to take our chances on the open market. And that means getting it decorated and ready for advertising, etc. Plus the trooping through of strangers. Mum just isn't up to that. Luvbug was on the phone talking all this through last night. I could tell he was stressed. In the end I said that maybe we just needed to sleep on it. For a few days....

*** ** *** ** *** **

Thanks again, for all your messages :) you are great, and I am so thankful for this little oasis of friendliness and support. It means so much :)

Have to go..... Mum just asked me if she has my address....

Crisis Point

Mum had another bad episode.

On her previous three, the doctors haven't known for sure whether they were all mini-strokes or seizures, or a few of each. They have treated her for both, and adopted a 'wait and see' plan, as no one had actually witnessed the start of an attack. This changed last week.

Mum an I adopted a routine for the weeks when I am at home; as soon as she is up and about in the morning, she calls me. This is usually between 8 and 8.30am.

Well, on Friday she hadn't called by 9am, so I rang, and couldn't get an answer. I called her neighbour, Karen,- we'd left a key with her- and she went into mum's house and found her still in bed. She called me back and told me that she couldn't wake mum, and that she seemed to be twitching and jerking a little. So I rang for an ambulance. When Karen got back upstairs to her, she found her foaming at the mouth, so we're now assuming that this is a seizure.

Now here's the most upsetting part. At least, for me, it is. Mum was wet. But neither the paramedics, the ambulance crew, or the team in Accident And Emergency thought to change her. I caught a train from Colchester to the hospital, at Gillingham. I got there the earliest I could, arriving at 1.30pm. She was STILL in her wet clothes. I had to ask, beg and hound staff to get her out of her wet pyjamas. And then they said they wouldn't wash her. So I got some paper towels soaked in water and tried to do it myself. Next they said they didn't have gowns. Her top wasn't wet so I put that back on, but there was nothing else. SO I just had to wrap a blanket round her. Underneath that she had nothing.

When I got there she was curled up under a sheet on a trolley in a side room. She looked so tiny and vulnerable. Karen had stayed with her. She said they got there at 11am and she didn't leave her side. I'm so thankful she was there for her. But mum didn't regain consciousness till Saturday.

Before then, she passed in and out of a weird, dreamy state in which she seemed to revert to childhood, pushing away any hands that tried to help her, defending herself instinctively from foreign touch. I got so upset when one of the nurses said to me, "Is she always like this, aggressive?" I nearly cried with frustration at this point! She is NOT aggressive! She doesn't know what she is doing! Another thing she did was sit up and put her arms round me and try to get me to lift her and carry her up in my arms, as though she were a child. By the end of the day I was so tired and I just kept crying because I couldn't do anything for her.

Luvbug came to the hospital straight from work and I never needed a hug so much!

I knew that Mum had a urinary infection because she had been to her doctor last week and told me about it. I cannot begin to imagine how painful it was to be left in wet clothes with this. She kept crying and pulling faces and clutching her pyjamas, but couldn't ask for help. I kept explaining to the nurses that she was burning, but it was hours before she got any painkillers or anti-biotics. They seemed content to leave her lying in it every time the sheets got wet, so I kept taking them off the bed and giving them to the nurses and asking for fresh ones. At one point one of them told me "you may as well leave them because she'll just keep doing it." I wonder, would she leave HER mum like that? I also kept washing her with cool water to try to help her.

When we came away from her Friday night, she was more settled, and was lying on a large pad to help her. I queried her fluids drip- it didn't seem to be working. It turned out that it wasn't. Then after they fixed it, it again didn't seem to be working. We were told that it was, but they had slowed it right down. We had driven half way home before the thought occurred to me -with growing horror!- that they had slowed down her fluids so that they wouldn't have to change her during the night!!!!!! I felt physically sick when I realised that.

Saturday- I arrived at the earliest visiting time allowed- 3pm. Mum was dozing. I said hello and she stared at me. After a while she spoke quietly. But she thought I was her sister. She didn't know why she was there, where she was, etc. I spoke to her about it all, but little went in for very long, so I just sat with her for the hour and held her hand. She held both my hands and slept. I put my head next to hers on the pillow and we just stayed there together till the end of the visiting hour. On the way out, a nurse told me that a doctor had passed her as fit to go home! I told her, er no, I think not, she thinks I am her sister, this is not normal.... so she asked, "Oh! Is that not normal for your mother then?" -!!!!!!!!!!! Turned out she wasn't convinced by the doctor, hence her asking me about it. I told her that maybe she would be better Sunday, perhaps then. To this, she said, "Oh well the doctor won't review her tomorrow, not if he's passed her fit today."

Sunday- In the afternoon she was still confused over who I was, and Luvbug, too, whom she thought was still at school(!). But this time when I explained things to her they seemed to stay "in". But she asked where she lived, and whether she had any pets, and what job I do, or what did I used to do..... lots of memory gone.
This evening's visit was better- she remembered her address and her cats, though not their names.

This evening they had to move her to another ward. Seemed a bed was needed so the fittest patient had to transfer. This was mum. So, since Friday, she has been- A&E, Assessment Ward, Dickens [general care] Ward, and now, believe it or not, she has a bed in a cancer ward, simply because that is where the free bed was. The good part is that it is in a new block, so very comfy, tv by the bed, en suite bathroom. The bad part, of course, is that it is another team again, and this hospital seems *crap* at passing on information.

On the way out, as a sort of after-thought, I stopped the nurse and asked, "Has anyone passed on that mum can't eat lamb, as it makes her ill?" They hadn't. Another note on another file.

Luvbug has gone home now. I'm finishing up mum's laundry and tidying, remaking her bed, etc. Just in case they do discharge her tomorrow, as I think they will.

I called this post 'crisis point' as I feel it's a turning point: now we know it's seizures, how about some treatment? Therapy? A plan, someone? anyone?
So far there has been nothing said about treatment for epilepsy, or info about the condition. I did tell them that her doctor had said that an EEG should be done as near to an attack as possible, but no one is interested. All I think I can do is get her home and look after her, and get her to see her own GP as soon as possible.

I don't know how, but she has lost weight again. Maybe there is a weight below which her body just can't cope. I need to help feed her up again, though with me being here every other week, I just don't understand how she has lost it.....

I feel I am almost alone, fighting for her. I feel I am kicking water trying not to drown. I don't know what I would do without Luvbug. Oh, and the only sibling I have in this country hasn't even called to get an update. Let alone come visit. He lives half the distance away.

Oh well at least typing all this has got something out of my system..........

Please send out good vibes this way......

Just a quickie update... in case you were wonderin'!

Hullo!!

Well, did I speak too soon??? !!!!!!!

I was to be going home Sunday but mum had a set back, so I'm in Kent still. Another mini-stroke. Not as bad as the last time- thank goodness we were there, and that it didn't happen after we'd gone home. Only one night in hospital this time. Boy, were we scared. We just couldn't believe it...

They have tweaked her med's. As well as things to thin the blood a little to prevent clots, she is now on sodium valproate in case these are actually seizures- this is an anti-epilepsy drug. It's also used as a mood stabilizer- I have been offerred it in the past re my bi-polar- so I am hoping it will also help her apparent depression and the bad anxiety she seems to get from time to time.

She is low from time to time, especially over the number of med's she is on. I told her, don't be depressed about having to take all these- the time to be down is if you have to take all these but you also have to pay for them, and find you can't, and then you have to decide which ones to leave out...

Luvbug put an offer in on the bungalow the other day, and as far as I know it's been accepted.... good news... perhaps nbow she can see in her mind where she is moving to, she can relax a little??? She says she doesn't like to look forward to it in case it doesn't happen.

I'm in a library using their computer at the mo, and Luvbug is bringing the laptop down tomorrow so I'll be able to get online again.

I haven't been able to send any cards or presents out- all at home in Colchester!!! so, my friends, and especially those abroad, you'll probably get your card from me in the new year at this rate :)

At last... progress (dare I say it?)

Mum is looking better. She had seemed drawn, with hollowing cheeks, but she has what seems to be the beginnings of a spark back now. The hollows are going, she is getting her cheeks back =) and she says that the strange "almost-numbness" that had remained on the side of her face that "drooped" during the stroke has now nearly gone.

The other day we walked to see a bungalow that's for sale, and then went to the park and fed squirrels, then walked into town for some shopping.
I felt so guilty!- I have been cycling into town on my new bike for months and had completely forgotten how far it is on foot! Poor mum! I kept finding benches for us to rest on. I was apologising for the rest of the day! Never mind. She didn't get any bad effects and loved meeting the squirrels. She does do a lot of walking at home, but there are no hills there..... She sure slept long and well that night!

The cats seemed to take it all in their stride in the end. Amazingly, neither of them are climbing the walls to get out! We put two litter trays in the conservatory and they have been fine with that. Scooter is reluctant to use them ("I'm a big boy I don't need a potty" type of thing, I think...) but gets round to it in the end =)

Scooter has even been playing! Yes, real playing- football, with rolled up pieces of shiny paper. I haven't seen him do that in years! He runs along, patting it from one front paw to the other, then he stops, wags his head from side to side, jumps up and pounces on it. You MUSTN'T laugh. If he sees you giggling he stops. I've joined in, "serving" him the ball though.

Fluffy is much, much more vocal than usual- and that' really saying something. But she is quite deaf so I think she just needs lots of reassurance sometimes.

Anyway... it has been decided that for now, the cats will return to Sheerness tomorrow with Mum....

She will miss them so much, and says that they help her "get through the day". We have been to and fro with talking about it, but then I realised, look, the whole idea was to make it easier for mum, and if it makes it harder then we don't do it. And if it upsets her and is one big change she can't have right now, then that's that. I had been mostly thinking of the physical side- getting up early for them, giving them their meds, etc. I hadn't given enough weight to the benefit of the routine that their demands deliver.

But now she's seen that the cats are fine, that they will be ok here, she has stopped worrying about uprooting them, and so the move is definitely on.

She loved the bungalow. It's in an "over 55's" complex. NOT "sheltered housing", just individual properties with a "warden" on site. Each property is linked up to an emergency system- if she is ill or has a fall, etc., she just presses a buzzer and help comes. We're only a mile or so up the road, but if we're away and she needs help, this will stop us -and her- worrying.

It's a lovely little place. Really suits her!

So the plan is falling into place....
she has a buyer for her place already, now we seem to have found the right place for her. The plan with the cats is to move them to our place about a month before the move. Once here, she'll be popping up to see them anyway!

This coming Tuesday it will be 4 weeks since the mini-stroke. I think back to that mad dash to her home, not knowing why she wasn't answering the phone, and to me sitting next to her tiny dozing body on the trolley-bed in A & E at 5am, her not knowing who I was. The memory of it frightens me more than the actual event did at the time. The wonder of adrenaline, I suppose. I haven't had time to draw breath yet. Monday will be my first day back in my "normal life". It will be strange.

Strange for her too, which is an understatement. -First time alone in 4 weeks. I offered to stay with her another week but she wants to see if she can go it alone. We've told her to call us if she feels she can't manage, or needs to rest, and I'll come over and stay again. All things well, she'll be fine on her own from Monday - Friday, and we'll be there again next weekend. Please keep all things crossed!

Mum home.... but little thanks to the doctors!!!

I was able to bring mum home on Monday night. Sorry for the lack of update but it's all been so busy...

I had a call on Monday morning from a nurse who said,
"The doctor has been round, and says that you can take your mum home today! He says that the confusion was probably all just the urinary tract infection, and that's clear now, so she can go."
-WHAT????????

I had to bite my tongue, and just about managed to speak without shouting and snapping someone's head off! "Confusion"?????

She put me through to the doctor's assistant.

I explained that mum had NOT been admitted with "confusion" but with
(1)a droop to one side of her face,
(2)fluent aphasia, babbling, using all the wrong words, slurring,
(3)weakness in her right arm,
(4)inability to recognise anyone known to her, plus the fact that
(5)it seems she had been unconscious for 24 hours....
the paramedics, everyone in A & E and the doctor who saw her in the assessment ward ALL thought it was a TIA ("mini stroke"). The assistant I spoke to now said that she had had no idea of any of this, and that no notes of any of it were there!!!!! So none of the paperwork from the previous departments had been passed on! All they had recorded for her was what symptoms she had presented when she came to *that* ward- 3 days after it had all happened. By this time, confusion was probably the only symptom left, and the only one written down anywhere.

I stressed that everyone had suggested a TIA and then I was told that it was ok, the brain scan had been clear. So I asked them to carry out an ultra-sound on her carotid arteries (on the NHS's own website under strokes and TIA info, they list 4 tests for the condition- brain scan, various blood tests, an ECG and ultra-sound of the heart and/or carotid arteries- they hadn't done this last one...). They said that they would speak to the doctor and, if he thought it necessary(!!!!!!!!!), they would do one. But I could still come to collect her that afternoon

Well, I arrived at 3.15 and she was just being taken for the ultrasound scan! And on her discharge papers it now lists all her symptoms and says "Very Probably TIA". At last! They have it on her records!!!

The ultrasound didn't show any further clots but she has a follow-up appointment in 6 -8 weeks.

The doctor that had wanted to say it was all a urinary tract infection was hanging around but wouldn't talk to me. Grrrrrrrrr............. and if I hadn't intervened she would have been sent home with no clot-prevention medicine. I've read that after a mini-stroke there is a huge risk of having another one in one month, and a full-blown stroke in one year, UNLESS preventative medicine is given. I can't believe how close she came to having the whole thing dismissed as a urine infection! A mini-stroke is meant to be a warning, yet it almost got written off.

I asked if they had actually tested a "sample" that day to see the the infection had gone- answer was no. Had they actually done a sample when she came in to hospital? No. So how did they determine that she ever had an infection? Well, they bear that in mind because confusion can be caused by that. Okkaayyyy.... so the doctor put the symptoms of a TIA down to a urine infection that he had no proof of, then released her when he assumed it had gone, though he had no proof of that either. "Yes, well she's been on anti-biotics for it." ?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel a letter coming on.

-Especially as I have recently realised something else, far worse!

-They did the brain scan on Friday but didn't check it till Monday (because the doctors don't do rounds on weekends!) -and yet they started her on daily blood-clot prevention injections on Friday. -Not because of a suspected TIA, but because they didn't have time to see that patients were kept mobile. All the patients on that ward got it, to prevent thrombosis while being in bed for days. But this means that if the TIA had been caused by a bleed on the brain, they would have made it worse, as the injections worked by 'thinning' the blood- she would have bled even more.

All this at a time when the hospital was working to normal capacity- no rush on for flu outbreaks or anything like that. My God!!!

Anyway.............. I've tried to shield her from these details of course!

I'm relieved she is back home. But she is so down. She says she is angry at herself for getting ill, and annoyed and upset with herself. She is so quiet. Not chatting as usual. I'm more worried about this than anything else, now. I know she is tired, of course, and maybe in a few more days she'll be feeling a little more "up". But it is very disturbing to see her just sitting and looking into space. Early days, I guess.

At the hospital.....

Just a wee update... Mum improving all the time, but I am having to keep pushing the staff at the hospital for the right care....

Mum was finally moved to a normal ward on Friday afternoon.
I got there for the afternoon visiting hour and they were just about to weigh her. She weighed 6 stone 5lb, even less than I had feared.
I raised the worry of her weight loss over the last year with the nurse, and she is going to refer her to a dietician. I've asked if she can have a blood test to check for any vitamin deficiencies etc., and I think this will be done. I will stay on their case to get it done!!!

Despite having all the appearances of a mini-stroke when we found her, she didn't get a brain scan done till Friday afternoon. At first we were told the results would take a few hours but in the end we have discovered we have to wait till Monday at the earliest because the doctors don't do ward rounds at weekends. Frustrating for us all, especially mum, who keeps asking to go home(!) but obviously can't, not till everything has been investigated.

We were told that on this ward they monitor what is eaten and what is left, which made us feel a little relieved to hear as she seems unable or unwilling to eat anything. But yesterday I arrived just after lunch and saw that mum had eaten hardly any of it, yet they wrote in her file that she had eaten it all. Ditto for Friday's food. I spoke to the nurse about it and she was reluctant to change it, but did in the end.

Then I noticed that in Mum's file it says that she was admitted with 'confusion' - nothing about being unconscious for the best part of 24 hours, or a marked droop on one side of her face, or the dysnomia (using random, wrong words).
I pointed this out to the nurse, and said that they had suspected a mini-stroke, but she said oh, we can't right in what it might be, just what needs to be investigated. WHAT the?????

This has riled me all night and I kept waking up going over it.
The doctors are unavailable to visitors so I'm not sure how to go about getting her symptoms properly listed.

It is SOOOO frustrating. I was with her through A&E and the assessment ward and now this ward too. I have given an account of what happened at every step of the way, to every shift change, the same questions, and each person wrote it down. But the info doesn't seem to get passed on.

Even the nurses now, at the weekend, are not the same who work in the week, they are agency nurses. I hope mum gets back the nurse she had Friday, she was so friendly and helpful. The nurses with her at the moment don't seem to talk to the patients at all.

She had expected to be coming home yesterday and no one had broken it to her that she wasn't. She was so disappointed.

She is OK otherwise, but bored!

There is no radio etc. but I took her a book of short stories and she finished it, so I took her a new book yesterday. Also a puzzle book, which she is working through. It's nice to see this as it means she can concentrate and write, etc.

When I was a child mum had Bell's Palsy and it left her unable to read and write and I helped her
to learn again- so I was so relieved to see she was OK with these skills now.

Today I will make a sandwich and take it in to her; maybe if it's her own bread etc. she might eat some of it. I told her, I'm bringing in cake today, and she better have a little of it because it's my birthday!!!

Mum in hospital- had a mini stroke

Strange! Even as I was writing my last post, this had already happened....

I last spoke to her Monday. I couldn't get hold of her all Tuesday so I rang her neighbour. She couldn't get an answer at the door and there were no lights on so we drove down...
couldn't get in as my key didn't work- hers was in the lock the other side- VERY scary...
In the end we had to get the police out to force the door.
Seems she had slept from Monday night all through Tuesday- no sign she had been up at all.
At first her face was droopy, her lip bitten, her tongue bruised.
She didn't know who we were. She didn't know me.
She used all the wrong words, trying to speak but the words were wrong.
e.g. "waterfall" for glass and "macs" for policemen.
The ambulance took her in, I went with her, Luvbug followed in car....
I stayed with her till 11am, by which time she had seen 2 doc's and was on a ward.
All blood tests OK, x-rays OK, limb movement and reflexes ok, but doing a brain scan today.

They think it was a mini stroke, a "T I A".
Not as bad as a "real" stroke.
Usually full recovery.

Last night when we visited she was clearer, knew our names. She didn't use any wrong words and her face was back to normal. She has a temperature but other physical stuff is ok.
We took her some photo's of my brother's sons- her grandsons in other words- and she recognised them straight away and was chatting about them.
She asked after the cats, were they OK, etc..

She remembers the ambulance being outside the house but doesn't remember anything else about what happened. She also doesn't remember last weekend as my brother and the boys had visited and they had all had a nice time, but she doesn't remember. She remembered her neighbour's name and asked after her, but when I said a friend from her church had called, she didn't know who she was. SO there are still some patches but things are clearing....

Going to see her again from 6-8.30 tonight. My brother is visiting this afternoon.

Will update when I can.

Please keep everything crossed for her.
I know you'll all be wishing her well- thanks in advance for all your kind thoughts =)