Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...

Saturday, 28 November 2009

At last... progress (dare I say it?)

Mum is looking better. She had seemed drawn, with hollowing cheeks, but she has what seems to be the beginnings of a spark back now. The hollows are going, she is getting her cheeks back =) and she says that the strange "almost-numbness" that had remained on the side of her face that "drooped" during the stroke has now nearly gone.

The other day we walked to see a bungalow that's for sale, and then went to the park and fed squirrels, then walked into town for some shopping.
I felt so guilty!- I have been cycling into town on my new bike for months and had completely forgotten how far it is on foot! Poor mum! I kept finding benches for us to rest on. I was apologising for the rest of the day! Never mind. She didn't get any bad effects and loved meeting the squirrels. She does do a lot of walking at home, but there are no hills there..... She sure slept long and well that night!

The cats seemed to take it all in their stride in the end. Amazingly, neither of them are climbing the walls to get out! We put two litter trays in the conservatory and they have been fine with that. Scooter is reluctant to use them ("I'm a big boy I don't need a potty" type of thing, I think...) but gets round to it in the end =)

Scooter has even been playing! Yes, real playing- football, with rolled up pieces of shiny paper. I haven't seen him do that in years! He runs along, patting it from one front paw to the other, then he stops, wags his head from side to side, jumps up and pounces on it. You MUSTN'T laugh. If he sees you giggling he stops. I've joined in, "serving" him the ball though.

Fluffy is much, much more vocal than usual- and that' really saying something. But she is quite deaf so I think she just needs lots of reassurance sometimes.

Anyway... it has been decided that for now, the cats will return to Sheerness tomorrow with Mum....

She will miss them so much, and says that they help her "get through the day". We have been to and fro with talking about it, but then I realised, look, the whole idea was to make it easier for mum, and if it makes it harder then we don't do it. And if it upsets her and is one big change she can't have right now, then that's that. I had been mostly thinking of the physical side- getting up early for them, giving them their meds, etc. I hadn't given enough weight to the benefit of the routine that their demands deliver.

But now she's seen that the cats are fine, that they will be ok here, she has stopped worrying about uprooting them, and so the move is definitely on.

She loved the bungalow. It's in an "over 55's" complex. NOT "sheltered housing", just individual properties with a "warden" on site. Each property is linked up to an emergency system- if she is ill or has a fall, etc., she just presses a buzzer and help comes. We're only a mile or so up the road, but if we're away and she needs help, this will stop us -and her- worrying.

It's a lovely little place. Really suits her!

So the plan is falling into place....
she has a buyer for her place already, now we seem to have found the right place for her. The plan with the cats is to move them to our place about a month before the move. Once here, she'll be popping up to see them anyway!

This coming Tuesday it will be 4 weeks since the mini-stroke. I think back to that mad dash to her home, not knowing why she wasn't answering the phone, and to me sitting next to her tiny dozing body on the trolley-bed in A & E at 5am, her not knowing who I was. The memory of it frightens me more than the actual event did at the time. The wonder of adrenaline, I suppose. I haven't had time to draw breath yet. Monday will be my first day back in my "normal life". It will be strange.

Strange for her too, which is an understatement. -First time alone in 4 weeks. I offered to stay with her another week but she wants to see if she can go it alone. We've told her to call us if she feels she can't manage, or needs to rest, and I'll come over and stay again. All things well, she'll be fine on her own from Monday - Friday, and we'll be there again next weekend. Please keep all things crossed!

11 comments:

BumbleVee said...

it sounds like she's come along really well Helena....oh, and I am so glad to hear that she is planning to move to a little place close by. that'll be great... for you all...even the cats ! Her first day alone will be a bit strange... but as long as she doesn't overdo... she should be fine.... The little place sounds like some cottages that my Mum and Auntie lived in in Victoria.... they loved them.

BumbleVee said...

oh,...and....thanks for the link to that woman's blog... I loved all her pastel coloured things.... some of them are quite strange...but, still wonderful....

Mary said...

Helena,

I am praying for your mother and hoping that the transition goes well. My husband had a mini stroke at the end of September and thank goodness there were no noticeable side effects.

Thank you for dropping by my blog and leaving your email addy. I've sent you a note.

Blessings,
Mary

Ginger Jasper said...

Sounds like things are moving in the right direction for everyone.. I am glad to hear that.. Take care.. Carol and GJ xx

Julie said...

It's such a tough decision to let your Mum go back to her own home but she is much stronger by the sound of it and you have done a wonderful job helping her recover. I'm so pleased you've found somewhere close by that should suit her so it won't be long till she is close by. I hope your weekend goes well and look forward to your week of hopefully normality ahead. xx

Angel and Kirby said...

We are purring that her house sells soon so she can be closer to you! We think the cats going back home with her will be good for her and keep her active. I hope they travel better on the way back!

Lynda (Granny K) said...

It is good news indeed! Your mum sounds to be doing just fine, the cats too. Look after yourself too. Hugs, Lynda

sandyland said...

good plan all the way around ..I'm glad little prayers floating about you know ..love sandy

Feronia said...

You've done such a wonderful job caring for your Mum, Helena, and it's great to read that she's on the mend. Thoughts and hugs to you all.

Chrissy said...

I am hoping that all is continuing to go well. It sounds as though things are beginning to sort themselves and I will keep my fingers crossed

Lorianna said...

Oh it sounds like your Mum is doing really well! I think you had a huge part in that Helena, along with her own strength of will. Maybe you get your ability to handle things like this from her.
Her little bungalow sounds lovely, just perfect. Hopefully she will be settled in there really soon. What a relief that will be! Reading about Scooter playing made me happy. Both kitties are coping pretty well. As long as they are loved, cats adapt well. I know yours are very loved. :)
Well, here it is December 3 all ready! I hope this month is much much better for you and your family.
Love and hugs and cake and tea,
Lorianna