Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

A seizure, a wobble, and some Mummy Cuddles

Oh dear. A seizure this evening. He has different types. With this type, I am able to pick him up, settle down and just gently hold him, shield his eyes from the light and talk softly. Poor baby couldn't stop his front legs twitching, so couldn't stop scratching me. I just let him. Snuggled in under my chin, paws twitching and scratching the top of my arm. That's ok. I told him he was safe. I thought about him being safe and happy. I knew he was coming round when he slowed and purred- purrs that grew longer and bigger- and then climbed down. He isn't a cuddle cat, you see. Only wants Mummy Cuddles when he isn't well. He has eaten since, and is at the door looking for night time woodmice. His back legs are still wobbly though. Can't get his meds down him. I have cried another bucket. I try to think healing thoughts, but I just don't have the mental energy any more. I can't do it. Can't focus on the good.

I think you can do two things when someone you love has an incurable illness. You can either start to grieve straight away, and so grieve early, and while they are still with you, and it becomes a long, drawn out grief unless you let yourself go numb, stop any feeling towards them.... when the loss comes, there is an element of relief, of closure, of abilty to move on. The trouble with this reaction is that you spend a little of your time with them grieving. You mourn while they're still here. Isn't that a waste?

The other way is to postpone the grief, carry on as normal, say that life is life till the end, and it isn't the end yet, so keep going as before. Smile, enjoy the time you have. Push away any numbness that threatens to close round your heart. Say that no, you will instead love with all your strength till the end. 
This way takes more strength, I think. And when the loss comes, the blow is harder.

And yes, I do feel qualified to describe these things. A dear friend was diagnosed with leukaemia in March, and a prognosis of 6-9 months. We continued as before, with lots of laughter and gossip. The prognosis was over-generous; she died at the end of May. I can't describe the shock.

I haven't had time or space to grieve for her. I've gone straight into caring for Scooter, straight into his seizures coming more frequently. 

What makes it all the more cruel is that my friend's husband is a vet, and she was a nurse, so whenever I had a worry about Scooter's health, we would talk about it. She would confer with her husband for me. So I've gone from losing her to straight into a situation that I would share with her.

I have been trying to love Scooter the same way as I loved her, positive to the end, focusing not on the end but the good in the present. But I am flagging. Running out of steam. I don't want to look back in the future and think, I didn't strokehim when I could, or talk to him enough, or blah blah blah whatever it is that I can't do right now..........

Now I am waffling........... I will go and get some tea, and check on him. I think he's gone back into his bed....

**** *** **** *** **** ***
Love, tea & cake,  

Sunday, 26 August 2012

A week on...

 Scooter waiting for one of his soft blankies to dry...

Scooter had another seizure on Wednesday and a 'twitchy' episode yesterday. He is now having another. I've given him some NutriDrops, a mixture of glucose and vitamins. I hope it brings him out of it. He has retreated to back of his 'cave' (an enormous box laid on its side, with a quilt and pillow inside for him).

The only way to prevent the seizures is regular food. But he won't eat. Same as yesterday, and Wednesday. He looks interested in the food you bring, sniffs it, then turns away. He isn't depressed; purring and putting his paw in your hand, letting you make a fuss of him. He's alert, too. It's confusing and painful that I can't stop the seizures. On a good day, when he is eating, he is his old self still.....

THANK YOU for all your advice and kind messages. I know that some of you revisited painful memories in order to write what you did. Your kindness is helping. I think I know some things sometimes but just need reminding, or to hear someone else say it.

I have found myself wondering whether his reluctance to eat is Scooter's way of saying that he has had enough. Then again, reluctance to eat is also a sign of the hypoglycaemia! So it could be wrong to interpret it like that.

I have sat and talked to him, telling him it is OK to let go if he is too tired of it all, that his sister, Figs and Fluffy, and his Mama cat, will all be waiting to show him to his next adventure. I told him we'll miss him but be ok, and that he will still be able to see us if he likes. He put his paw on my hand and purred. 

Last night he was out, inspecting the woodmice that live under the decking. I think he may want to hold on till he gets one ;)
We are here for him round the clock. Especially as a new behaviour has begun- suddenly, he is calling out in his sleep. I go to him and reassure him, then he settles down again. But it's such a tiny, plaintiff meow it breaks my heart to hear. I don't think he's in pain. I wonder if he wakes up with temporary blindness, as he eyes look opaque for a few minutes- a possibility of this condition..... poor Scoob. Or maybe it's bad dreams.

The more the symptoms add up, and the more often he won't eat, the more often the seizures come..... I am keeping a note of these things, and we'll just have to try to fathom when he's had enough, or when his quality of life has declined too much.

My emotions are on a yo-yo; one minute I am resigned to saying goodbye, then he gets better and I am elated. Then down I go again, then up. Mum is worried, but doesn't say much. She was hoping we would take her to a dog show today, but we can't go out, so she is disappointed. She gets bored, I know, and I know that this has been a diffcult summer for Luvbug too. But I can't be going on days out all the time wondering how he is here alone, and whether he is having another seizure, or calling out...
I've caught Luvbug in tears. 
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make Scooter all young again! No matter the strain, I feel I owe him my best, buckets of love, and every last chance.


The NutriDrops don't seem to have had any effect. He has remained lying on his pillow and recoils from contact. We're leaving him to sleep, and just wondering whether he is going to go into a seizure, or worse, a coma. The v-t doesn't work weekends. If this continues through the night, I'm afraid Scooter's adventures might close tomorrow...


I've just managed to tempt him to some raw chicken. He may be going to suprise us again. 

**** *** **** *** **** ***
Love, tea & cake,  

Sunday, 19 August 2012

Advice, please.....

Well we are all still here, fighting on!

Without the support of steroids it is very hard to control Scooter's blood sugar. 
We are keeping a food diary for him, noting what is offered, what is eaten, and how he is in himself at the time.
It means monitoring through the night, too.

When he eats regularly he is fine, he is like his old self, and you wouldn't think there was a problem at all.
But sometimes he won't eat. Whatever you offer him, he acts as though he is actually repelled by it.
This in itself is a symptom of hypoglycaemia, refusing to eat, depression, disinterest. When he is like this the blood sugar has already sunk. Bearing in mind that it was only 1.6 when the vet tested it, and that was on a good day, when he'd been eating ok.

He had one more seizure in the week, and couple of times I have spotted that he is on the cusp of one- staring, glass eyes, twitches.

I asked the vet about glucose supplements, and he said that they do sometimes have capsules of glucose in stock, and that owners of diabetic pets sometimes have them for emergencies. But there was nothing said about me getting some. Arrgh. 

I went online and looked up 'raising a cat's blood sugar' and checked that honey was ok to give. Today and yesterday I've loaded my finger with thick honey and wiped it onto his tongue. This has lifted him out of a stary-eyed state enough to get him to take a few mouthfuls of proper food. They recommend a tablespoon of honey for a cat. I manage maybe a teaspoon :(

When he eats a lot he is alert and active. Otherwise he is depressed and wobbly and weak. I guess no matter how much food we offer, we can't control his appetite. If he isn't hungry, he won't eat. That's it.

I found something on line called calo-pet paste. It's a meaty-flavoured paste that's basically vitamins and minerals in a water and glucose base. It's 20% glucose. I've ordered some and will start either putting it in his food or in his mouth.

Mum has been telling me to let him go. When will I let him go. I've got to. Blah blah blah. I was in tears. This was in front of him. I don't want it discussed in front of him! I'm convinced he knows what we're saying. 

Yes, I do think we are in palliative care mode. 
Yes, I do think we are losing the fight. 
No, I don't think we can control the blood sugar. 
No, I don't think it's fair to keep him if he is constantly either depressed or having a seizure. 
But what about the times in between when he is  his old self? 
Do I give up on those too? 
How many of those times is too few to carry on?

I am exhausted. I am in my fourth day of a migraine. But I can't part with him because of MY tiredness.

I don't know what to do.

I shall try the glucose supplement I've ordered. I'll also nag the vet for glucose capsules. I have to try. I have to be able to look back and know I tried everything for him. I owe it to him, surely.

It is just so hard to accept that he is slipping away from me, because he is such a BIG cat, still capable of getting up on the windowsill and purring away, rubbing his scent on his box to claim it as 'mine', and holding his mousie between his paws.

After nearly 19 1/2 years, Fiv, hyperthyroidism and flu, it is a crime to lose him to low blood sugar. I know it will damage his brain if it continues. Do I wait for pain? For brain damage? Do I wait till he can't walk? Till he can't get to his poo patch? Surely I don't want these things for him. It is a game of chicken, knowing when to call time.

Please send your best healing vibes, purrs and purrayers that he will feel better and also that I will know when to let go...... I realised last night that the low blood sugar causes depression, something I hadn't considered. Why the hell not, considering my past??? I don't wish depression on anyone! Poor Scooby.....

**** *** **** *** **** ***
Love, tea & cake,  

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

For Scooter

Well, I'm still here, and I've nicked Luvbug's laptop:)
Scooter is in the kitchen tonight, on mouse duty. We haven't had a mouse in the kitchen since the winter, but he has a long memory :)

Anyway.... look what I found! This is a poem about Scooter that I wrote five years ago...

I watch my friend rest
at my side, paws curled in sleep,
eyelids tightly closed.

A flicker of tail,
a shudder ripples through the
fur, betraying dreams.

What night-thoughts does he
see, that stay out of my reach?
Mice and birds and hunts?

Perhaps it was just
a shiver of old age, a
warning to me: be

ready for the time
when I shall search for movement
through tears, and in vain.

Never mind. Rest now.
I will not let that future
sadness soil this peace.

And so, I watch him
stretch, yawn, pad, roll, sigh, curl back
into precious sleep.
I wish I had known in 2007 that I would have at least another five years to share with Scooter. I'm glad to know that I told myself to enjoy him while I can and to focus on the present..... the poem is painfully relevant now.

Meanwhile, I have spoken to the v-t. He said that it sounds like Scoot is having a reaction to the prednisolone (steroid). He advised I cut the dose of one tablet (5mg) a day right down to a quarter. So, this is what I did today. He still had a bad reaction. He cries out as though in pain, he limps, he goes very lethargic (not the usual 'sleepy cat', something else, can't quite put my finger on it). I think the steroid is making his joints hurt worse. I know steroids did that to me once. I had them after a bad asthma attack years ago, and my joints grew swollen and painful while taking them.

So, I'm not going to give him any more of it. The v-t said that there is another steroid he could try, but I can't remember the name of it. He asked me to call and let him know how things are going, so I shall call him tomorrow and ask if we could try a couple of the alternative he mentioned.

Thank you again for all your love and support........

**** *** **** *** **** ***
Love, tea & cake,  

Monday, 13 August 2012

Bit better today.... but bad news about another cat

*** I won't be able to update for a few days as the mains adapter for my computer has broken. I don't have much battery power left!! I've sent off for a new one but it'll take a few days....***

Hi all,
thanks for the messages...
the good vet isn't in today! AARGH!
Back tomorrow.
Meanwhile, I haven't given Scoot any steroid today. He has been up and meowing, eating well and enjoying his new bed. He has had a nice sit in the sun and now he's back in his bed, asleep on his brains! He seems back to his norm.

I don't intend to give any more steroid till tomorrow night, and then only a half tablet. I'll call the vet tomorrow too. I'm wondering if to try a half tablet, every other day. He had such a good reaction to the half tablet on Friday, and only went downhill when the dose was increased...
**** *** **** *** **** ***
Meanwhile, bad news from my dad :( 
he had to have his big black and white cat, Benny, put to sleep today, as a large blood clot left his back legs and tail paralysed. 
Poor Benny went into shock. The vet couldn't help him. Dad was in tears, it's not long since he had to say goodbye to his poodle. He has one cat left, Jimmy, who is looking for his playmate now. It's so said when they leave a playmate behind, isn't it?......

**** *** **** *** **** ***
Love, tea & cake,  

Sunday, 12 August 2012

Oh dear........

Just when we thought we'd clinched it.... another seizure today. Or seizure*S*.  

Face twitching and front paws jerking. WIDE, huge opaque eyes.
I covered his eyes with one hand (best to make it dark for them, and quiet- less stimulus) and talked to him gently, lying next to him. The seizures kept letting go, leaving him tired and resting his head down... then the seizure returned and started again. They came in waves.... at one point mum took over, trying to reassure him. She had felt at a lose end, and was in tears.

After 40 minutes or more, I covered half his box with a towel to make it darker inside. He's near the open door, so he shouldn't get too hot.....

Mum is now sitting on a floor cushion next to him, while he is dozing with one eye open.

I had to break away to cook dinner, and it's salmon, so I wanted to have some cooked and ready to tempt him when he comes too....

We are all stunned. Not much conversation going on here this afternoon. We are all shocked back into reality, after thinking that -hurray!- we had solved the seizures...

The v-t prescribed one 5mg tablet of prednisolone. I can give it in one go, or split into two doses.
On Friday night I gave him his first dose, a half tablet.
Well, within half an hour it took effect- he was up and about, alert. He trotted in from the catflap, almost a little run! Later, he climbed up to the windowsill again. WOW, we thought. This is working!

That night, I stayed up with him, but didn't need to coax him to eat as he was back on nightwatch- investigating all the places that mice had enticed him before- and in between investigations, he was eating from his biscuit bowl.

Yesterday I thought, well, it will be easier if he takes the tablet in one dose, won't it? And down it went.
OPPOSITE reaction. Totally lethargic. And a few times over the course of the day, he cried out as though in pain. I wonder if he had stomach ache from it.

He perked up last night, and i wondered if this was because there was then less in his system. OK, I thought, I won't give him any more till Monday morning, and it will be a half dose.

But today I thought better of it, and gave him a half dose this morning.
He had been out before, but since the dose stayed to his bed.
And now the seizures...............

It is SO painful to watch your little one in pain and scared, and to suspect that it was something YOU gave him that made it happen.

I'm not giving him any more steroids till Tuesday now, and then a half dose.
I should have listened to my gut..... after all, it was my own gut feelings that led us to the blood sugar problem. I should trust my own hunches.....


Friday, 10 August 2012


The blood tests showed that Scooter's sugar levels have been low for a long period.
The v-t could only think of two things that would cause such low levels for a sustained period.
The first is liver cancer.
Although Scooter's liver reading was up, he didn't think there was a problem here.
Scoot doesn't have any of the other signs of liver cancer, and anyway, he doesn't think that even this would make the sugar *SO* low.

The second is that rare pancreatic tumour called an insulinoma. It can't be 100% confirmed without an ultrasound. But given Scooter's age - 19 1/2 next month - this wouldn't be possible. The v-t says he can't see it could be anything else.

If you google 'insulinoma in cats' you won't find much! I keep finding extracts from vet journals that read 'there are only 4 cases in the record'. One said five.

The opinion is always that the tumour progresses quickly.

However, Scooter's seizures started last summer. 
So, logically, this means 1 of 3 things-

1) it's been an insulinoma all along, and now it is speeding up, and he doesn't have long
2) the literature is wrong, the tumour doesn't always progress quickly
3) it isn't an insulinoma

Anyway...... so we're agreed that the cause of the seizures is low blood sugar. We now know diet isn't going to be enough to improve this, so Scooter has been prescribed a dose of prednisolone to raise the blood sugar.

He also has new anti-biotics, smaller ones, that I'm hoping to be able to get into him more easily. These are for the lump on his face, which the v-t now expects to be an antibacterial infection, following the blockage of the tear duct by something-??- we don't know what.

So................. we treat the symptoms with the steroid, basically.
In insulinoma, this will help control it.
Eventually, the steroid won't work.
At that stage, we have to judge how good Scooter's quality of life is....

I am grateful for more time, but at the same time as this, I know that the decision I thought we were having to make a few weeks ago is only a matter of time. Then again, it always is, isn't it? Now we can make him feel better at least for a while. Give him a good final run-up.

Today I went into town and bought one of those huge big padded pillows, covered in long soft fleece. Oh! It had 'dog bed' on the label. Really? Where does the dog go???
I brought it straight to Scooter in the garden. He got on it right away and was soon snuggled in, purring. Well, I have to spoil him while I can ;)

Thank you all, again, for all your support, purrs and purrayers...... it has been a long few weeks. At least now we have some answers, even if not very nice ones. THANKS for being there.... your comments and emails, and my visits to your blogs (oh yes, I've been lurking, even if I couldn't comment!) have helped me keep going and helped me especially during the nights when I've sat here alone and just cried so hard I can't make a sound.

**** *** **** *** **** ***
Love, tea & cake,  

Thursday, 9 August 2012

Blood Test

Scooter was out on his cushion, on his bench, till after midnight last night. We kept going out to check on him, and coax him in, but he was having none of it. He was in a warm corner of the garden, surrounding by tall fences, tall willow-herb, butterfly bushes and a potted peach tree. He had his little solar frog light nearby, and he was staying put.

We kept the door open for him, suffering a draught and numerous mozzie bites so that he would find the easiest way in and not get confused or feel abandoned. In which case, GUESS WHO EVENTUALLY WENT ROUND THE LONG WAY AND NIPPED IN THROUGH THE CATFLAP???

LOL! In he walks, big yeowowowowowowow and I put a saucer of salmon under his chin, some biscuits next to him, and poured fresh water. 

It's nice to know he is still a cheeky boy.

** *** *** ** ** ** ** ** *** **

Anyway, the v-t came today. 
Scooter was out on his blanket/box/cushion/quilt/tent condo in the sun. The v-t came over and sat down next to him. "Hallo Scooter, I've come to see you! How are you feeling, hmm?"
Scooter sat up and leant towards him, sniffing. You can't fool him. You can take the v-t out of the surgery but you can't take the surgery whiff out of the v-t, apparently.

We all sat and talked normally, trying to keep him calm. Then the nurse who'd come along held Scooter on each side and made a fuss of him while the v-t took the tiniest shaver I'd ever seen and took off a little fur from Scoob's foreleg. I covered his eyes to try to keep him calm. He jumped a little when the needle got to him and swore at the v-t. I wasn't sure if it was a growl or a snort, the v-t said it was both.

He tested the blood sugar level immediately. 
It was 1 point something. 
VERY abnormal, he said. When had we fed him? after midnight, at 2am, at 3am, at 5.30am, at 8am, again around 10am and he had had a tiny bit of chicken with his meds on about half an hour before. Well, his blood sugar reading would have been normal only if it had come from a cat who'd been starved!

"This would fit in with what you're finding exactly," he said, "with the night feeds helping. We've been thinking that the lump on his face is causing the seizures by it being something nasty leaning on the brain. I think we may have been barking up the wrong tree there."

I can't remember what made me think of blood sugar, or to start the night feeds. But it's nice to hear it was the right thing to do.

The v-t is going to check for the insulinoma, and check the liver and kidney readings. He didn't manage to take enough blood to do a thyroid check too. But I should have these results tomorrow or Monday.


his blanket/box/cushion/quilt/tent condo 

even a big apple box can be a squeeze, for our big fella

**** *** **** *** **** ***
Love, tea & cake,  

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

At last, an interested vet!

Well the vet didn't call back yesterday. It isn't the first time this one hasn't called me when I've been told he would, so I wasn't desperately suprised.

Last night I stayed up and kept an eye on Scooter, getting him to take some food through the night. Once again, he was fine in the morning, no seizure, and not a twitch through the day that I observed. He even managed to get up on to a chair in the garden, and from there, up on to the table where mum and me were sitting:

I called the clinic again and asked if Nick G., the vet who had visited Scooter at home last month, was back from holiday yet. I was relieved to hear he was! I asked if he could call me and again, went into what it would be about. He called after hours, this evening.....

Well, the upshot of it is that he will come out on Thursday to take some blood from Scooter. I am so scared for my fur-baby but I know we need to see if there are any clues in his blood. 

I mentioned that Scooter hadn't had any blood tests for about a year, so he said he'd do a full test, checking to see how the thyroid is doing too.

About my hypoglycaemia theory, he was very interested to hear about the night feeds and the difference these made. He said that hypo-g could be caused by liver cancer :(   or by a tumour on the pancreas called an insulinoma. He said he hadn't heard of this tumour in a cat before (but has treated dogs for it) and he has been in practice since 1987. But there is a specific test for this type of tumour, so he will run that on the blood he takes.

As to prognosis, IF it IS that kind of tumour, he said the usual treatment is palliative; give steroid shots to control it and slow it down, and this will make things ok -for a while. But we don't know what effect steroids would have on Scoot though, as he is FIV. This type of tumour is always malignant :(

Re. liver cancer, he doesn't suspect it but can't rule it out. The thing is, he doesn't have obvious abdomen discomfort, he doesn't have bad digestion problems, he isn't sick, doesn't have bad breath, isn't peeing more than usual (these are all liver cancer symptoms), doesn't drink more than usual, isn't losing weight, doesn't have jaundice and whenever his temperature's been taken, it's normal. Just about the only symptom he has on the liver cancer list is the seizures.

PRIMARY liver cancer is rare in cats, apparently, meaning if it's there it probably spread from somewhere else. Waaahhhhhhhh...

Anyway, he said the hypo-g., in the end, may be the result of a very tired pancreas, perhaps due to the FiV, and that maybe if that's the case, it could be controlled with careful diet monitoring.
OR it may be the bacterial infection, as bacteria gobble up blood sugar.

Above all, I keep telling myself, Scooter is 19, Fiv Positive, has hyperthyroidism yet is still a big cat who shows an interest in his surroundings. He is a fighter!!

THANK YOU again for all your lovely, loving support. PLEASE keep Scooter in your purrrayers and send us the most positive vibes you can muster.

**** *** **** *** **** ***
Love, tea & cake,  

Monday, 6 August 2012

A Little Success Is A Big Thing...

......I fed Scooter at 1am, 4am, again at 6.30, and I put the alarm on for 8.30, but found that Luvbug was already up and feeding him! And.............. NO SEIZURE!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now I am thinking this is a case of-
not active at night, so-
doesn't nibble his food through the night, so-
blood sugar drops, and-
has a seizure in the morning.

My plan now is to keep to this night-time waking and feeding unless he starts being active at night again.

I rang the vet.
He won't come out to do a Convenia shot, even when I reminded him that the stress of the carrier/car/visit to the clinic brought on a big seizure last time we went, in April.
No, he won't come out.
So instead he is leaving out some more of the same anti-B he has been on the last few days. Luvbug has gone up now to collect it, along with more Hills A/D, as Scoot has eaten all our supplies!

As to discussing the question of blood sugar, the vet said he will call me back later.


Oh well, a little break through is a big thing. 
I wonder why his blood sugar isn't stable, though?
I wonder if it has to do with his hyperthyroidism, for which he takes 10mg Vidalta daily.
He should have his levels checked, really.
When the other vet is back from hol's I'll ask if he'll come out.

Thanks again for your support and kindness............ p-lease keep purrs and purrayers coming!

**** *** **** *** **** ***
Love, tea & cake,  

Sunday, 5 August 2012


Well I stayed up and fed Scooter at 4am.
He was stirring a little in his sleep, but when I put the saucer near his head he was wide awake, and gulping it down like a starved horse! He ate over half a tin of Hills A/D.
I stayed around, checking on him, watching him sleep, finally lying down to get some sleep myself on the sofa at 6.10am.

I put the alarm on for 8am, but slept through it.
Mum woke me with her 9am call, which she always makes to let me know she is up and ok and taken her tablets.
I fell asleep again..... finally checking Scooter at 9.30am.... he was at the start (I think) of a seizure.
His eyes were wide and glazed, opaque. His head was moving to and fro, to and fro.
I dished up the rest of the A/D and put it under his chin. He licked it up, but still doing the head movement, so he was going
left - middle, eat, - right - middle, eat, - left - middle, eat, - right - middle, eat, - left.. etc.
I kept wiping his chin of long traily bits of A/D and saliva.
Poor Scoob.
But feeding him was the right thing to do as he gradually came out of it. I lay next to him till he was alert again. Luvbug was with us by then and Scooter lifted his head to greet him.

SO- I do think that this may be an overnight drop in blood sugar. My mistake was leaving over 5 hours between his 4am snack and breakfast.

I always put down fresh dry food at night, last thing, and up till recently he has nibbled this through the night. But lately he hasn't. I couldn't understand why not, but this evening the obvious reason has occurred to me- he is simply less active at night lately. You can't eat in your sleep. So even though I put the food right next to him, even if he stirs in his sleep he won't eat it. I need to wake him with food. Sometimes his Mummy can be very slow to cotton on to things.

So I've put the volume up on my alarm and I'll feed him at 4am and 7am, then again at 9 and check him at 10, then sleep a few hours myself.We'll see if THIS works!!!

Thank you for your messages of support and prayers and purrrrayers. Also, for lots of helpful suggestions!-

Everycat- I know the timed feeding dishes you mean, but the trouble is I think he needs to be woken up and actually shown the food to eat it! He is obviously hungry, but even during the day, if the food isn't put under his chin he won't go and eat it! I've only seen once today investigating his dish on his own!

Laura and Taffeta Rose- bloodwork results, yes, good question. Can you believe they haven't taken blood?? I first presented Scooter to the vet in April about the lump on his face, and he was given anti-biotics, but no test. This another reason why I was suprised that the vet gave him the Convenia Jab - without knowing what bug we are up against.

Oui Oui & The Lee County Chowder- He does have a late meal before bedtime. He has the fresh kibble left down all night, and also, when he comes in from his last trip to the toilet patch in the garden (!) I give him a saucer of something. Lately he is licking his plates clean! He loves A/D! I am very pleased because he hasn't been drinking much at all, and A/D is very wet.

Tomorrow I need to call the vet again, really. He said to call when I've used up the anti-B's that I've got. I've got one day's left. I know he'll recommend another Convenia shot. I wonder if to agree, as I have had trouble getting the meds down him today. 

On the other hand, I wish they would do a blood test and see if they can pin-point an infection. He hasn't had a temperature whenever they've tested it, which to me is odd, as I thought you got a temperature if you had an infection. Weird! Maybe his FIV prevents him fighting it, and therefore stops the temperature going up.....

I don't know if this vet would be willing to take blood on a home visit, but I think maybe we need to either think in terms of palliative care, or in terms of finding out what this is. I think if we're still talking about anti-B's then it's worth while trying to find out which ones we should be using, yes? Blood tests will be stressful though...............

I'll see how the early food goes.... it's a seizure each morning for 6 days in a row now.... :(  
I'll speak to the vet tomorrow, but I am dreading it as he makes me feel like I am silly and know nothing, and being a nuisance, an overly worried pet owner making demands on his time.....

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Love, tea & cake,  

Saturday, 4 August 2012

More seizures....

Look at this lovely badge that KC and the Giggleman Kitties made for Scooter! Isn't it great? They posted it on The Cat Blogosphere so others can find their way here, and send out some healing vibes for Scooter, and offer purrs and puuurayers............thank you so much, KC & Co., and everyone who visits my poor Scoob.

Well, another little seizure yesterday morning, and another this morning. That's 5 days in a row. Each time, he sleeps it off, then he is ok for the rest of the day- and I mean ok, not droopy or depressed or weak or anything. He is doing less, but then that might also be because it's been raining, so he hasn't been out and about so much. But he is alert, happy, interacting with us, eating and drinking, and of course snoozing with his mousie.

This morning I went to his bed earlier and found him already twitching and jerking. I got him his Hills A/D food with his drops of painkiller, and put it next to his head. As soon as he realised it was there, he gobbled the lot up. That was about 1/3 a tin.

I wonder if it is a drop in blood sugar over night that is making him have these in the morning. Tomorrow I shall put the alarm on and go to him an hour earlier with his breakfast. I do leave him fresh biscuits overnight (kibble) and they were there still this morning, but I guess he doesn't think of them. I'll give him the A/D early tomorrow morning, and see if I can nip the morning twitches in the bud.

THANKS AGAIN for all your love, concern and support. I am telling him, you know, I am telling him all about you all, and how much love there is for him all over the world ;)

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Love, tea & cake,

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Scooter and Flat-Mouse, & another seizure....

Just when you thought he couldn't get any cuter........

This is Scooter with Flat-Mouse.
Flat-Mouse is so called because he came without filling, just a little catnip inside.
After having been left out in the rain overnight one time, and getting all muddy, and then having a whizz round the washing machine and an undignified hang by the tail on the washing line, Flat-Mouse is nice and soft but no longer catnippy.
Scoob loves him. I often stroke him with Flat-Mouse.

I took this picture yesterday. He's on his cushion by the door in the sun. I had left the mouse next to him. Next time I looked, he had scooped him up in his paws and was holding him like this.

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Another seizure today, that's 3 days in a row. Today's was a bit more worrying than the last two. AND- the lump on his face is back! It wasn't there over night, I know because I stayed up with him. But sometime when he was asleep this morning, between 6 and 9, it came back! NOW it is below his lower eyelid, on his cheek bone. The eye is all watery, but clear, no redness or discharge.

I rang the vet- the last two I've spoken to are on holiday now. So I ended up having to speak to the one I've been less confident in. He recommended I use up the 4 antibiotic pills I have in the house left over from April when I he gave me a large amount of them for whenever Scoot has sniffles. He said if they aren't working on the lump by the time I've used them up, he recommends another Convenia injection, which is exactly what I DON'T want Scooter to have. So I'm going to browse online and see if there is an alternative anti-B that comes in pills.

Convenia has so many associated side effects. And it stays in the body up to 65 days, even though it's only effective for about 12. He had this jab 2 weeks ago without my prior approval, and I don't want it doubled up. I said all this to the vet but he just said it'll be ok. But my gut feeling is to query this. WHY give an animal an anti-b injection if he is perfectly ok with taking pills??? I'd rather give him a dose a day. If he has a bad reaction to the jab, it's in his system and too late to do anything. If he reacts badly to a pill I can just stop giving it to him...............at his age, as well, I don't want all this stuff building up in his system. I have to think about his liver and kidneys...... aarggh!!!!!!!!!! 

I wish my friend, Donna, was still around. I would always run to her with stuff like this. She would talk to her husband, a vet, and then come back to me, or she would just stop me worrying with her tales of looking after strays, or with her humour.... I miss her. She died 31st May. I feel like I haven't had time to grieve yet. I keep thinking I can email her....
Love, tea & cake, Helena