Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...
Showing posts with label art therapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art therapy. Show all posts

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

I knew they weren't listening!

My Art Therapy came to an end this time last week, as my therapist is no longer going to travel in from Ipswich to work at the Colchester hospital. Blast. This is the one continual contact within the mental health system that I have had over the last 6 years.

The psychiatric service has been a joke. You get one half hour appointment every three months. You NEVER see your consultant, only one of his/her team of trainees and very rarely the same one twice. Most of the time they haven't had time to read your file, so much of the appointment id taken up with basic questions about your background and family situation. Then they'll say, so what can we do for you today? DUH.



But, useless as it mostly is, I need contact with this service as they are the ones who monitor my meds, change them, introduce new prescriptions, and, the thing I thought most important, note whether I am having the weird hallucinations that accompany the bipolar when I'm under any extra stress.

When my Art Therapy stopped last week, I asked my therapist if could enquire when my next p-doc appointment was, as I hadn't had one since the autumn. He did. He called me after I'd left and said, 'I'm very sorry, I had no idea, but they discharged you.' They hadn't even had the professional courtesy to tell him, let alone say anything to me.

Soon as I got home I rattled off an angry letter to the consultant about this, why was this done, why was it done so unprofessionally, and who was I to go to about meds and hallucinations if they had left me out here on my own?

Appointment with my GP this morning.
She didn't knew anything about it. Had a look back through my files. Oh yeah, she says, we got a letter in June saying they were going to discharge you because you hadn't attended a few appointments [for non attendance, read rebooked them, as they constantly gave me times I couldn't attend].

I then had one more appointment with them after this, during which they said to increase one med and come off another. Nothing was said to me about closing the file.

So here I am, with bi-polar II,
permanently on anti-depressants,
for the last 18 months on anti-anxiety pills,
and regulary taking anti-psychotics for the creepy, Hellish things I hear and experience when under stress,
the main carer of an elderly parent with vascular dementia,
no local support network, 
and my only regular help, art therapy has stopped,
and that's it, I'm discharged.

The GP showed me their letter about it. It even says I was suicidal in my last appointment. But hey, it notes that I dressed ok, was polite, made sense and seemed to have no personal hygiene problems, so I guess that means I'm ok. Maybe you need to be a smelly, drugged up alcoholic to get help.

REALLY glad I wrote that angry letter now.

No reply so far, which is no surprise. PALS is my next step, the Patient Advice & Liaison service. Big, big complaint coming their way.

Just as well I'm not suicidal any more, isn't it? Do you think, if my health problem was heart disease, I would have been discharged still with problems?


Saturday, 28 August 2010

Retail therapy, time for sprawling, and Fluffy isn't very well......


A little break of sorts...


Mum has a had a few good days QUICK! TOUCH WOOD! and in fact, on Thursday, I didn't see her till 5.30pm. We had a couple of phone calls, no more. She wasn't all panicky like she has been. They had an 'afternoon tea' in the lounge at the sheltered housing complex, so she had somewhere to go in the afternoon. She said only 4 of them turned up but they had a chat, a giggle or three, tea and biscuits...

Of course, not knowing IF the phone will ring meant I couldn't go off out and forget all. But it WAS a nice break, an afternoon footering about. I can't even remember what I did with the time(!); laundry, I think, and making a fuss of the cats, watching tv and sprawling :)


Thanks.....

Thank you all again for your support and concern, and also for all the people who are helping in their own way, like sending good vibes, prayers, good thoughts...


Retail Therapy!

This photo is pure retail therapy.... "Animal" have a shop in Colchester and had a sale this month. This bag was half price, at £8. I loved it, so.... ahem. And the book is one from my wish list on Amazon. I use the wish list facility to save me money -LOL- as it means I can go window shopping there and plonk things onto the list rather than into the shopping basket :)

I didn't like the book quite as much as I had anticipated, as it didn't have as many different styles featured in it as the 1,000 quantity had promised. LOTS of a certain "avant garde" style, least that is what I call it- you know, VERY grungey collage with photographic heads poised on weird stuff and scruffy paint effects. I'm not saying it isn't artistic, I'm just bored of it.

I have lent the book to my Art Therapist, as some of the pages are so weird I felt it would be an Art Therapist's dream to wallow in a few hundred of them for a while. LOL!


Any advice for Fluffy???

Fluffy had a sniffly nose a month ago. Well, half a nose, as it is just her right nostril. Her right eye was watery too. The vet gave her a week of anitbiotics, and it cleared up in just a few days.
However, it came back :(

Last Monday we took her back to the vet and she gave her another 2 weeks' worth of the same. Half way through the course almost, and it isn't working. She is getting snotty. I didn't even know cats GOT snotty. I CERTAINLY didn't know cats got bogeys. I have been acting nursey-mummy and coming to her rescue with a tissue or warm, damp face cloth. She is starting to sleep under the bed, right in the middle, nose firmly out of reach.

Any advice? If you are a cat owner, have you come across this?
The vet said that if it doesn't clear up it could be something like a grass seed lodged up there somewhere, or at worst, a growth of some kind :( .........either way, at 17, I don't think I would like her sedated for an Xray..... gulp! I just hope hope hope that it clears up..... waaah!

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Floor level.


Broke down today.
Lots of tears. You know, the can't-go-on type.
Had an appointment with the Art Therapist.
I'd had to cancel last week's and the week before's because I just couldn't get away, couldn't leave mum on her own.
Today was easier; she wasn't too bad today.

At the session, it all bubbled to the surface, and how, yesterday, for the first time, I felt I couldn't go on.

But if I killed myself, I thought, what would mum do then? Or the cats....

Luvbug, I figured, in the twisted, mirror-think of suicidal thought, he would be ok, he's strong, he could sell up and head to Ireland and his family........ and then yesterday on the news there was a story about a young family found dead in their home. Suicide was mentioned, but not official yet. How could he have taken his wife and children with him, people asked. And I knew how. I knew how, I knew why.

Then I knew I had hit the floor and needed help.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

A birthday card - & my prize arrived!!!

Remember I said I'd won a Photo Caption Competition with Sharon Duncan Crafts?
Well, my prize arrived: 3 sets of stamps and 2 ink pads. I was completely stunned! I never expected so much!
Now I need to get to work on a wee Thank You card....


Meanwhile, in the evenings, I have been colouring some more stamped images and putting them into a box, to be made up into cards or tags at another time. I like the birds on this one...
This next one developed into a birthday card for someone, although her birthday isn't till 15th July. I'm sure there are others that need doing before then, but never mind!
I'm enjoying water-colouring. I'd used water-colour pencils for so long I'd forgotten what it was like to use the actual paints. It's very relaxing.

I also cut out and sewed some paper hearts whilst watching CSI :) .....
*** *** *** *** ***

Head Stuff

I had a heavy session at Art Therapy yesterday. Lots of talk and very little drawing! Imagine a table in your head that's had stuff piled up on it for weeks. Then someone walks past it and brushes against it. Everything topples over. Nothing new: you already knew all the stuff there. But it looks different all spilled out like that.

*** *** *** *** ***

Other Stuff

I hope the storms blow themselves out soon so that I can get back out into the garden. I've bought two trays of bedding plants; marigolds and red salvia. What on earth possessed me to buy 60????

Having been in a low gear for a while, the house is now a tip. -When I'm low and/or physically unwell, jobs just don't get done. And as an untidy mess affects me badly, I need to get it all cleared up and straight.

At least the rain will keep me from getting too distracted. Today I started by writing a list....... ahhh that's enough for today :)