Farewell, our sweet "gentle lad"...

 

SCOOTER

23rd March 1993 

- 17th September 2012

Here is how it happened.
I write it for my own record,
and also for those strong enough.
But don't feel you have to read it.
It isn't horrible, just sad.

He went to join his sister about 3.40pm.
It was time. Only just. 
The night before, he had trotted in, and climbed up onto the windowsill behind  the sofa in just two clear leaps.
He slept there all night and I stayed with him.
He hugged my hands, and enjoyed 'chinny rubs'.
He stayed there till the afternoon, napping in sunshine.
Whilst there I still offered food, but it repelled him. I left water next to him but he didn't touch it. I put some water into his mouth with a little syringe; I knew dehydration would make him feel bad. I gave him enough to wet his mouth, I think, but he didn't want more. A teaspoon or two. 

(N.B. I remembered the vet saying some time ago, that if a pet is going to be put to sleep, it is best if their tummy is empty for a little while before, or else there is a chance the injection will make them sick and the process becomes difficult for them and longer drawn out. I wanted to mention this in case any one thinks I should have forced him to eat.)

He climbed halfway down, meowed, so I helped him down the last bit, about 2.30pm.
His back legs almost gave way entirely, he couldn't walk far.
He settled in the shade on the floor.
We offered a bed, a blanket, and mum offered her gilet, but he just wanted to lie down and be let be. He didn't want cuddles now, they made him feel worse. He wanted quiet and stillness. We talked gently to him now and then but tried not to disturb him. Disturbing him caused him to try to move, and he found it difficult now.

The vet came. He spoke gently and kindly to him. 
He gathered him up and examined his tummy and back legs, all the while telling him what a good, brave boy he was.

His conclusion; there was no constipation, no blockage that he could detect, and he didn't think a tumour was in the way. Nothing to explain why he wouldn't, couldn't eat or poo. He said that he thought that, finally, things were giving up inside. He had so much to fight-
hyperthyroidism, FIV, hypoglycaemia (prob. caused by pancreatic tumour), and then the bacterial infection on his face that wouldn't clear. He seemed to have no pain as the vet examined him, as he squeezed and examined his tummy, hips, etc. No yelps, no signs of discomfort. There was weakness, and he probably felt sick, but no pain.

I asked the vet to give him a sedative first, as I was worried that he wouldn't be able to find a vein for THE injection, thinking that Scooter would be dehydrated. He agreed.

So, I held Scooby in my arms, his head on my shoulder, talked to him and stroked him, while the vet gave him a jab in the scruff of his neck. He jumped, as this one would have stung. (I forgot it would.) He wiggled so I lay him back down on the floor and stroked him and held his toes. I suddenly remebered Flat Mouse, and asked mum to get him. She found him just in time. I tucked Flat Mouse next to his toes, and talked to him, told him look, here he is, here's Flat Mouse. Now, you go bub-byes, it's ok. You'll be ok, and so will we. He sniffed Flat Mouse, just managed to lift a paw onto him, then fell asleep.

Mum and I stroked him and talked to him. After about five minutes, the vet gave him the other injection. Before it was completely in him, he was gone.

I turned to talk to the vet and when I turned back, mum had tucked a little blanket around him and had one hand on his back, and talked quietly to him.

Luvbug was home in half an hour. We left Scooter where he was for when he got home.

We all sat on the floor near to him and drank tea (or I had water) and we shared some funny memories through tears.

Luvbug and I have dug a place next to his sister, Figs, in the garden. We will put in the box containing the ashes of his other sister, Fluffy, and we will of course put in his mousies.

I have left the place overnight empty.
I have placed Scooter in a pillow-slip, then wrapped in his favourite blankie, then placed on a pillow, then slid him into his big cave-box in the conservatory. I have draped another blankie across the front of it and left a candle lit. 

It's my plan to bury him at first light, in the garden he loved so much, while the birds are singing..................

My darling, gentle, funny friend, I miss you, and will always remember your sweet ways, your loyalty and love. I'm sorry for all the medicines, and I'm sorry I couldn't help you any more. I'm sorry you were scared, and I know you didn't really want to go. But you didn't deserve to hurt, or not be able to do the things you wanted to do any more. I hope that you are somewhere now, I hope that you are free and well. I hope that if you can see me, that you understand I didn't want you to go. I meant no harm, Scooby. I just couldn't help you any more....................

**** *** **** *** **** ***

Helena

Scooter and Flat-Mouse, & another seizure....

Just when you thought he couldn't get any cuter........

 

This is Scooter with Flat-Mouse.
Flat-Mouse is so called because he came without filling, just a little catnip inside.
After having been left out in the rain overnight one time, and getting all muddy, and then having a whizz round the washing machine and an undignified hang by the tail on the washing line, Flat-Mouse is nice and soft but no longer catnippy.
Scoob loves him. I often stroke him with Flat-Mouse.


I took this picture yesterday. He's on his cushion by the door in the sun. I had left the mouse next to him. Next time I looked, he had scooped him up in his paws and was holding him like this.

**** *** **** *** **** ***

Another seizure today, that's 3 days in a row. Today's was a bit more worrying than the last two. AND- the lump on his face is back! It wasn't there over night, I know because I stayed up with him. But sometime when he was asleep this morning, between 6 and 9, it came back! NOW it is below his lower eyelid, on his cheek bone. The eye is all watery, but clear, no redness or discharge.

I rang the vet- the last two I've spoken to are on holiday now. So I ended up having to speak to the one I've been less confident in. He recommended I use up the 4 antibiotic pills I have in the house left over from April when I he gave me a large amount of them for whenever Scoot has sniffles. He said if they aren't working on the lump by the time I've used them up, he recommends another Convenia injection, which is exactly what I DON'T want Scooter to have. So I'm going to browse online and see if there is an alternative anti-B that comes in pills.

Convenia has so many associated side effects. And it stays in the body up to 65 days, even though it's only effective for about 12. He had this jab 2 weeks ago without my prior approval, and I don't want it doubled up. I said all this to the vet but he just said it'll be ok. But my gut feeling is to query this. WHY give an animal an anti-b injection if he is perfectly ok with taking pills??? I'd rather give him a dose a day. If he has a bad reaction to the jab, it's in his system and too late to do anything. If he reacts badly to a pill I can just stop giving it to him...............at his age, as well, I don't want all this stuff building up in his system. I have to think about his liver and kidneys...... aarggh!!!!!!!!!! 

I wish my friend, Donna, was still around. I would always run to her with stuff like this. She would talk to her husband, a vet, and then come back to me, or she would just stop me worrying with her tales of looking after strays, or with her humour.... I miss her. She died 31st May. I feel like I haven't had time to grieve yet. I keep thinking I can email her....

Love, tea & cake, Helena