Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

ABC Wednesday......

J is for Joy.....

This is my God-daughter skipping through the woods last spring.
I could have posted this under H for Hazel, her name.
Or W for woods....S for skipping..... maybe I for innocence....
Joy seemed to sum it up best.

I took this photo' with my old 35mm automatic, before I had a digital camera.
So I wasn't able to just shoot off loads and keep a good one.
I took two; the other was a blur.
I've just scanned it in, no retouching.
What a good fluke!
Funny, I hadn't noticed that slight blur around the top of her head before.

Cropped this way it might be a metaphor for her journey ahead......

I keep this photo in a plain wooden frame on my mantelpiece. It reminds me, especially on bad days, that there is more to life.....


For more ABC Wednesday posts, go to Mrs Nesbitt's blog, and check the comments on her ABC post..... the other participants are leaving their links there!


Wednesday, 19 March 2008

ABC Wednesday....

I is for IDLE DOODLING...........

This is a typical doodle of mine.
Sometimes I colour in some of the shapes.
But mostly I don't like that.
It doesn't "feel" right.
It frustrates me and I end up tearing it up and starting again, this time leaving the shapes "open".

I know you get graphologists, who try to interpret your handwriting, but do you also get doodle-ologists? If so, I'd be intrigued to know what they would make of this.....

Intersecting, curling swirls. Teardrops, possibly. Or flowers. Hmmmm.... do you see anything? Other than the men in white coats approaching...?


For more ABC Wednesday posts, go to Mrs Nesbitt's blog, where there is a list of participants.


Wednesday, 12 March 2008

ABC Wednesday....

H is for...........

Ahhh........ yummy OATY biscuit, so much finer than your little wheaty cousins...
Let us look into your family tree.....

First there was the ORIGINAL HOBNOB:
Then came the MILK CHOCOLATE HOBNOB ahhhh... the perfect dunker..... :
Then came the only possible improvement- the DARK CHOCOLATE HOBNOB!
No more!
They stopped making them last year....
how COULD they??? HAIKU for the departed Dark Chocolate HOBNOB:
Poor little dark one,
not too sweet, always just right,
oh, how we miss you.

Next came HOBNOBS IN A TUBE... perfect for the drawer at work.....

(well, NEARLY perfect- perfection would have included a padlock device)

And then... Oh Heavens! can it be?


But lo! Here come the imitators......


Well it's nice to see the 'own brands' trying an oaty bic at last, but frankly, they don't come close.

Did you know that wherever there are biscuits there will be found Bears?

So which Biscuit is best?

Let's let the Bears decide.... !!!

Click on the video link to see!

If you can't see the video here, try HERE instead!


For all the other bloggers doing ABC Wednesday,
go to the list on
Mrs Nesbitt's Site.
Enjoy your browsing- & why not join in yourself?!


Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Uncle Shadows

If Depression were a person I would hate him.

Oh true, he does bring gifts. But it's like having a horrible relative who turns up just when you were having a decent day with everyone else. In he walks, uninvited, but his foot is in the door before you can refuse. You force a smile for the sake of everyone else in the room. I hate him for that forced smile.

Then he proffers a little plastic carrier bag in which a few gifts are bulging. "Oh," thinks everyone else, "he can't be that bad. What was she moaning about?"

You take the bag graciously and sneak a peek: a few unusual gifts inside- unwrapped, and a little rough round the edges. You'll investigate them later. For now, you are on autopilot. Must keep the other guests comfortable. Must carry on. Must appear normal.

After a while, the time for the others to leave comes round. They see you are coping with him. In fact, he seems to fit in well.

In the following days and weeks he saps your strength with his demanding presence. Then, after a time, he starts to nip out. A 10 minute walk here, a half hour stroll there. One day he doesn't come back. You can't believe it, keep looking out the window, up and down the road. Eventually it sinks in: he's gone.

You set to work tidying your home, flushing out the last of him. And you come across that bag.... what's in it? A listening ear..... a few creative brain cells.... a packet of sense of humour.... he's a personal relative, remember, so for you the bag might be different.

I loathe him.
He is a robber of time. His domineering presence takes up half of my alloted space, leaving me living a half-life. Add up every visit and he owes me years. YEARS. And all that those years were meant to contain.

Tonight I realised that he had been lodging here for a while again. Ah! That explains the messy house! And why I haven't been able to sleep lately. And why the impetus to do anything has been drained. Ah yes! He is here again. Must have sneaked in when I wasn't on guard.

I am on autopilot again, half alive, living a half life. Sometimes only the anger keeps me going. Anger at the cheek of him, and determination that he doesn't take the other half as well.

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

ABC Wednesday....

G is for Graffiti

Normally, graffiti annoys me. It's nothing to do with entering my 40s: I've always been a grouch on this one.

And the writer/artist can't win: if it's scruffy, spelt wrong or rude, I think those responsible should go home and read a few books. If it's artistic, neat and original, I think "Why can't they use that talent somewhere else?"

It's rare that I actually feel any admiration for it. Banksy is an exception (click link for a blog that has some of his stuff on display).

But then came lots of followers, imitaters. It all got very samey, this 'street art', and entered it's own arena of annoyance.

-I do worry that I sound like my father when I moan about such things.

But then I saw this.....

This piece of graffiti (a graffito, I'm told) appeared not far from my home about a month ago. It made me smile..................

"Thanks for my birthday card Lucy, all my love, hugs and kisses, Thinking of you every day, Dad xxx"

It made me ask lots of questions....

  • The writing looks like "typical female writing"- you know, neat and rounded. Yet it's apparently written by a man.
  • Why did he leave a message here?
  • Are he and his daughter's mum estranged?
  • Is this his only way to get a message to Lucy?
  • Does he live miles and miles away, and did he drive up in the night and leave this for her?

There are lots of possible stories behind this very human message. This is why this is a piece of graffiti that I actually enjoy walking past. It makes me smile. It makes me think.

No fancy lettering, colouring or slogans. Plain and simple. Unflashy and "uncool". But it grabs my attention every time.

I hope Lucy saw it.

For all the other bloggers doing ABC Wednesday, go to the list on Mrs Nesbitt's Site. Enjoy your browsing- & why not join in yourself?!