Advice, please.....

Well we are all still here, fighting on!

Without the support of steroids it is very hard to control Scooter's blood sugar. 

We are keeping a food diary for him, noting what is offered, what is eaten, and how he is in himself at the time.

It means monitoring through the night, too.

When he eats regularly he is fine, he is like his old self, and you wouldn't think there was a problem at all.

But sometimes he won't eat. Whatever you offer him, he acts as though he is actually repelled by it.

This in itself is a symptom of hypoglycaemia, refusing to eat, depression, disinterest. When he is like this the blood sugar has already sunk. Bearing in mind that it was only 1.6 when the vet tested it, and that was on a good day, when he'd been eating ok.

He had one more seizure in the week, and couple of times I have spotted that he is on the cusp of one- staring, glass eyes, twitches.

I asked the vet about glucose supplements, and he said that they do sometimes have capsules of glucose in stock, and that owners of diabetic pets sometimes have them for emergencies. But there was nothing said about me getting some. Arrgh. 

I went online and looked up 'raising a cat's blood sugar' and checked that honey was ok to give. Today and yesterday I've loaded my finger with thick honey and wiped it onto his tongue. This has lifted him out of a stary-eyed state enough to get him to take a few mouthfuls of proper food. They recommend a tablespoon of honey for a cat. I manage maybe a teaspoon :(

When he eats a lot he is alert and active. Otherwise he is depressed and wobbly and weak. I guess no matter how much food we offer, we can't control his appetite. If he isn't hungry, he won't eat. That's it.

I found something on line called calo-pet paste. It's a meaty-flavoured paste that's basically vitamins and minerals in a water and glucose base. It's 20% glucose. I've ordered some and will start either putting it in his food or in his mouth.

Mum has been telling me to let him go. When will I let him go. I've got to. Blah blah blah. I was in tears. This was in front of him. I don't want it discussed in front of him! I'm convinced he knows what we're saying. 

Yes, I do think we are in palliative care mode. 

Yes, I do think we are losing the fight. 

No, I don't think we can control the blood sugar. 

No, I don't think it's fair to keep him if he is constantly either depressed or having a seizure. 

But what about the times in between when he is  his old self? 

Do I give up on those too? 

How many of those times is too few to carry on?

I am exhausted. I am in my fourth day of a migraine. But I can't part with him because of MY tiredness.

I don't know what to do.

I shall try the glucose supplement I've ordered. I'll also nag the vet for glucose capsules. I have to try. I have to be able to look back and know I tried everything for him. I owe it to him, surely.

It is just so hard to accept that he is slipping away from me, because he is such a BIG cat, still capable of getting up on the windowsill and purring away, rubbing his scent on his box to claim it as 'mine', and holding his mousie between his paws.

After nearly 19 1/2 years, Fiv, hyperthyroidism and flu, it is a crime to lose him to low blood sugar. I know it will damage his brain if it continues. Do I wait for pain? For brain damage? Do I wait till he can't walk? Till he can't get to his poo patch? Surely I don't want these things for him. It is a game of chicken, knowing when to call time.

Please send your best healing vibes, purrs and purrayers that he will feel better and also that I will know when to let go...... I realised last night that the low blood sugar causes depression, something I hadn't considered. Why the hell not, considering my past??? I don't wish depression on anyone! Poor Scooby.....

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Love, tea & cake,  
Helena