Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...

Saturday, 23 March 2013

PURRDAY....

Well, here it is: Scooter's 20th Purrday...

St Clare of Assisi: but wait, what's that at her feet? Is it, can it be... CATS?? YES! Because she is patron saint of cats!

The candles are lit...

In the garden, over their 'patch'. (There are usually 5 candles, but 2 of my candle-holders aren't snow-proof)

Next to Scooter's big 'canvas' photo. He watches over us from the top shelf here. That lovely felt heart was made by Helen, Little Leon's mum. (The candle is a battery one, which flickers, don't worry I'm not planning a fire...)

On the mantelpiece...hard to read here, but on the glass is engraved "Katie, Sam, Wellington, Mama, Figs, Fluffy, Scooter... run free and purr, dear ones."

I love this birthday card, which arrived today from Diane and Woodstock the Bear (their blog is http://blue-startingover.blogspot.co.uk -I can't seem to get that link embedded. Must be a blogger glitch.). It really touched me to get this on the day itself! Thank you, Di!

 A Purrday Cake.... an Angel Cake, as they were- and are- my angels.....
(In case you don't know what Angel Cake is like inside...)

 THANK YOU, everyone who has helped me through this week. All the texts, emails, comments, all the lit candles.

I've had a lump in my throat all day. This morning I just couldn't get up. I stayed put till the afternoon. But I had a lovely dream;

I dreamt that I went home to where I lived as a little girl, and I was a girl again. As I rang the doorbell my dog, Tog, from those times, ran up to greet me. He was up on his hind legs and pawing me and I made a fuss of him.
Once indoors, I don't remember where he went. Then I was all grown up again. I sat on the sofa and Fluffy jumped up to my lap. I made a great fuss of her, and she was purring and stretching and her paws were going in-out-in-out. I scritched round her ears and snozzled her toes and all the silly things she used to love. It seemed to last for ages.
Then, mum came in, and asked who I was talking to. I was surprised, but then I realised that mum couldn't see her. I told mum she was there, but she thought I was just being mad. I took her hand and pulled it over to Fluffy's back. There! She could feel her! So she knelt down next to us and stroked her.
She had tears in her eyes, and said, "Oh, I've waited YEARS to stroke her!"
Then Luvbug came in, and he couldn't see her either. I told them both to close their eyes and trust that she was there, and reach out- they could both feel her there, and both stroked her and talked to her...
I woke up as the three of us were cuddling her.

I have been thinking a lot about Fluffy recently. Whenever I try to talk to Scooter, there she is, in my mind. It's as though she's asked him to tell me she's there too, or to tell me to realise that she is still around as well.

Maybe the dream is a message- close your eyes and reach out because they really are there.

I'm off to finish my post about all my cat now. I've been collecting their photo's together. The scanner is a bit slow so I am doing photo's of photo's. Be back soon....

   Happy Purrday, my sweet ones... thankyou for all the love you shared... I miss being your Mama.... I miss you all....















Thank you, Karla, for this last picture..
"In Heaven you get all your old cats back."













**** ***
Love, tea & cake,  
Helena

12 comments:

Di said...

Hi Helena, I did light a candle for both you and Scooter but wouldn't like you to think that lovely card was from me. There is another Di in your life - who sent love and hugs, just as I am now. Di xx

Helena said...

Oh my! Of course! It was signed from Woodstock too!! It's from BLue! Oh my head really isn't working at all today is it??? :)
xx

Julie said...

Your dream must have been very comforting. I lit a candle for Scooter too. xx

Angel and Kirby said...

Happy Birthday Scooter. I lit a candle for him, you and all your kitties. I do knot know if you know Max and his Woman, but you should read her blog today. It may be a little sad, but it is also uplifting/

http://kathompson.blogspot.com/

Mitch and Molly said...

Happy Birthday, Scooter. We are thinking of you, Helena.

Love ya lots,
Mitch and Molly

Found art blog said...

Big squeaky hugs. Thinking of you still.....

Ginger Jasper said...

Happy Birthday Scooter. I also am thinking of you today. I think your dreams are a sure sign that your beloved furries are indeed all around you.. Hugs GJ and Carol xx

Gattina said...

Once your beloved pet is gone, it will stay forever in your heart and no one else can replace it.

Helena said...

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR MESSAGES!!

Angel & Kirby, I read her post- thanks for the link! I loved it. I left a comment. It made me feel so reassured that even if I move house my angels may follow!
It was good to read that WIZARD still visits you too!!

xxx

The Lee County Clowder said...

Happy Purrrrrrday, Scooter. We're purrrrrring that you are still keeping an eye on your pawrents.

Helena, our Dad had a similar dream, just after Luna went to The Bridge.

http://leecountyclowder.blogspot.com/2011/07/luna-came-for-visit.html

Lynda (Granny K) said...

I lit a candle for Scooter.

Seven years since Lucy went and I still feel her jump on the bed and cuddle up sometimes.

I also dream i'm holding her.

Emily said...

What a lovely post, Helena. Tears in my eyes xx