Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...

Sunday, 14 April 2013

Don't want the spring, or the summer any more...

Spring usually makes me feel better: sunshine, brighter evenings. Today I saw my first bee and butterfly of the year. The garden was inviting, but I couldn't go out, couldn't bear to see the bench without my little friend sunbathing there. Don't know how to get through the sunny days now. I mowed the front lawn but feel like the back garden can go to hell now.

Some days are ok, others I can't stop crying.



**** *** **** *** **** ***
Love, tea & cake,  
Helena

7 comments:

Di said...

Oh Helena, this is heartbreaking. I know it sounds trite, but do you think Scooter wouldn't want you to be out in the sunshine? He's in a warm and happy place, not lying cold under the ground as you've said before, his spirit is warm and wishing you happier times - of that I have no doubt at all my sweet friend.

Sending love and hugs, Di xx

Beedeebabee said...

Sweet Helena, I feel the same way as Di. Scooter loved you so, so much,and I know he would want you to enjoy the backyard, the garden and the sunshine, just as you used to do. He wouldn't want you to be unhappy sweet pea. Not at all. Try a little smile when you look at Scooter's bench, and tell him you'll always love him, then sit and enjoy a bit of springtime. He would want you to. xo Paulette

Angel and Kirby said...

I am glad you are having some good days. I can only hope they happen more often that the bad

Mitch and Molly said...

Mom knows just how you feel. Spring has sprung and it's just gorgeous and you want to share it with your best friend. (((hugs))) to you, Helena.

Love ya lots,
Mitch and Molly

Found art blog said...

Moops. Big hugs.

Linda said...

I am so sorry to hear about your sadness and loss....as you know I have had the same experience recently and I totally understand how you feel.
But your friends are right; Scooter wouldn't want you to be sad. He'd want you to remember all the happy times and smile when you think of him.
Be kind to yourself...
Hugs
Linda

The Lee County Clowder said...

Sending comforting purrrrrrsss and gentle headbutttss.