Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...

Sunday, 13 April 2008

ABC Wednesday......

L is for LATE.....


...and LOW.....

I was away last Wednesday.
My partner & I went off to the New Forest for a few days.

Hence the late posting for "L".

So here we go.....
...some cobblestones from Lymington, one of the places we visited...
....first looking uphill...
then pointing the camera straight down:


The harbour was cold but busy and refreshing....

But despite LONG walks through beautiful scenery,I began to sink LOWER
and LOWER.......till on Friday I was Lower than I have been in a very long time.

Regular observers of this blog will know a little about how Bi-polar disorder affects my life.
Friday was a Low day.

In Medieval times there was an instrument of torture called The Rack.
Your ankles were fixed at one end, your wrists at the other.
Wheels were turned and your wrists and ankles were pulled in opposite directions.
You were stretched, tendons torn, sinews breaking, limb from limb.

Imagine a rack in your head.
The inner workings of your head are fixed to it.
And stretched.
All at once your mental strings are plucked, punished and pulled.

In the end I was hitting my head with my hands.
I wanted to bang my head against the wall.
My partner stopped me.

A few Little blue pills.
A Long sleep.

It's Sunday.

I'm surfacing.......

....back to Life....but for how Long?


For more info ABC Wednesday posts, go to Mrs Nesbitt's blog



mrsnesbitt said...

Thanks for this honest, open raw post. I haven't heard of this condition before but I will find out what I can so I can use the right words so you know I mean well and care.

Glad you had a break.

Helena said...

Denise, I already know that you care, and you always say the right thing!!

BTW if you're lookingup bi-polar, it's bi-polar type 2.

I do get "ups", but not totally looney-tunes. No running down the street in just my pants. Much to Bob's regret.

BumbleVee said...

I, too, do not understand the ins and outs of it....but suffice to say, I am sending you a BIG squuuiishy hug and hoping a bit of strength and perseverance will rub off too....

Anonymous said...

Welcome back... and lots of pix to feast my eyes on.

I think Bob needs a flagpole with a pair of pants (undies) waving in the breeze. I think blue ones! That would get the neighbors in an uproar... and give you more to blog about.


CherryPie said...

Lovely selection of photos for the letter L.

I am so sorry you had a low time to spoil your holiday xx

But I am glad you are beginning to feel better now :-)

self taught artist said...

that second photo of the stones is quite something ...i love it. sorry you had a down turn, but at least you are able to be creative. you have a good eye ;)

Blue said...

Welcome home!

And, what a touching post.
I genuinely feel for you.
You discribe it so well.

The photo's are terrific.
Am looking forward to Bob's!

Take care

Shrinky said...


You're riding it through hon, it'll lift - it has before, and it will again. One day at a time, and the sun will eventually come out. (Holding you tight)

Cobblestones - reminds me of my childhood (shudder)..

You have a wonderful eye for a photograph.

Lynda (Granny K) said...

D'oh. Bummer.
BIG Sympathetic hugs from Lynda and the bears.

Semaj Mahgih said...

Now you're really moving again.

Helena said...

THANKS EVERYONE for your kind messages of support ;^)

Sandy Kessler said...

I feel you are so blessed to have a partner who can help you swim through though exhausting it must be the up down swirl.I know so many with this disorder so many-I love them for their struggle and how beautiful they really are when you look,funny people with all disorders have a much more beautiful side than most others,that's what I'll call others not so brave as you.