Mum's Home

Yesterday at 11am, Mum rang my mobile from the hospital to tell me that they were discharging her. I was already on the train, on my way to her!

Despite telling her before 11 that she was going home, the hospital pharmacy didn't deliver her going-home meds till 6pm. So we- and the woman in the bed opposite- we hanging around all afternoon.

When I arrived about midday, I asked mum if the doctor had said anything to her about why she had been admitted. He hadn't. She said that he had seemed surprised to see her still in hospital. The date on the discharge form was Saturday's, so what the other nurse had said was correct- he hadn't reviewed her case since Saturday morning, when he said that she was "fit" to go home.

So! Off Helena the Avenger goes again, straight to the nurse station on the ward. I asked if anything has been said about epilepsy -NO, had anyone spoken to her about the fit she had? -NO, were there any leaflets about epilepsy we could take home? -NO, any advice re management of the condition? -NO, were we sure now that it WAS epilepsy? -DON'T KNOW. Erm, can I speak to a doctor, please? No, they are on other wards now.
OK, erm, I am not willing to take mum home till I have spoken to a doctor.
Nurse pulls face and takes deeps breath.
"OK well, I'll go and call him then."
I wait for 15 minutes...... she returns-
"Well a house doctor can come and see you but it won't be for a least an hour. She said to call the registrar but the registrar isn't answering her buzzer. Dr DM (the most we were allowed to know of his name) is busy with sick patients now."
WHA????
"MY MOTHER is a sick patient!" I repeated that I needed to see someone because we still didn't know WHY mum had had a seizure.
"Well they'll cover that in clinic. He's making an appointment for her in a few months where he can answer your questions there. In the meantime, if it happens again, you'll just have to bring her back."
WHA????
"Erm, no, it has ALREADY happened 4 TIMES. I want to know why."

...... FINALLY. The mysterious "Dr DM" appeared in a hour, accompanied by a registrar, and off I went into a little room with them, followed by the nurse I'd been badgering. Obviously, witnesses were required in case I punched someone by now. Ha.

The upshot is this- he thinks it is epilepsy.
So, I ask, where did it come from? Another doctor at the hospital (it's becoming like a song, another suitcase in another hall, another doctor on a another ward...) had told me that it was very rare for anyone in later life to develop epilepsy. Dr DM disagreed. He said the other doctor was talking out of her hat. Mum, he told me, shrugging, probably had it in childhood anyway.
OH NO SHE DID NOT!!!!!!!
Er, ok then, but she has got it now.

They think that the meds she was on was ok- sodium valproate, but it failed to prevent Friday's seizure because "her infection lowered the threshold for a fit".
OK, so does she have to take a higher dose?
"Oh, yes, that's an idea. I'll think I'll raise it..." Dr DM gives a note to the registrar.
Hey, good job I suggested that, huh?

No real info re epilepsy, no notes, nothing on what type it is. But there is always the internet, I am told, which is a great source of information. Hey, you're telling me! You should see the reviews you can find on here about Medway Hospital!

So I got mum home in a taxi by 7 last night.
She slept ok.
I didn't.

Today there are still enormous gaps in her memory.
I recall having these worries back in November, and I think the memory gaps came back ok.
I hope they do this time, too.

Mum doesn't remember anything about the house being up for sale, about moving to the bungalow etc. Just as well, really, as the buyer has just this weekend announced that he wants to drop his offer by £10,000- which we simply can't afford to do. If he insists, the sale is off. We'll have to take our chances on the open market. And that means getting it decorated and ready for advertising, etc. Plus the trooping through of strangers. Mum just isn't up to that. Luvbug was on the phone talking all this through last night. I could tell he was stressed. In the end I said that maybe we just needed to sleep on it. For a few days....

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Thanks again, for all your messages :) you are great, and I am so thankful for this little oasis of friendliness and support. It means so much :)

Have to go..... Mum just asked me if she has my address....

Crisis Point

Mum had another bad episode.

On her previous three, the doctors haven't known for sure whether they were all mini-strokes or seizures, or a few of each. They have treated her for both, and adopted a 'wait and see' plan, as no one had actually witnessed the start of an attack. This changed last week.

Mum an I adopted a routine for the weeks when I am at home; as soon as she is up and about in the morning, she calls me. This is usually between 8 and 8.30am.

Well, on Friday she hadn't called by 9am, so I rang, and couldn't get an answer. I called her neighbour, Karen,- we'd left a key with her- and she went into mum's house and found her still in bed. She called me back and told me that she couldn't wake mum, and that she seemed to be twitching and jerking a little. So I rang for an ambulance. When Karen got back upstairs to her, she found her foaming at the mouth, so we're now assuming that this is a seizure.

Now here's the most upsetting part. At least, for me, it is. Mum was wet. But neither the paramedics, the ambulance crew, or the team in Accident And Emergency thought to change her. I caught a train from Colchester to the hospital, at Gillingham. I got there the earliest I could, arriving at 1.30pm. She was STILL in her wet clothes. I had to ask, beg and hound staff to get her out of her wet pyjamas. And then they said they wouldn't wash her. So I got some paper towels soaked in water and tried to do it myself. Next they said they didn't have gowns. Her top wasn't wet so I put that back on, but there was nothing else. SO I just had to wrap a blanket round her. Underneath that she had nothing.

When I got there she was curled up under a sheet on a trolley in a side room. She looked so tiny and vulnerable. Karen had stayed with her. She said they got there at 11am and she didn't leave her side. I'm so thankful she was there for her. But mum didn't regain consciousness till Saturday.

Before then, she passed in and out of a weird, dreamy state in which she seemed to revert to childhood, pushing away any hands that tried to help her, defending herself instinctively from foreign touch. I got so upset when one of the nurses said to me, "Is she always like this, aggressive?" I nearly cried with frustration at this point! She is NOT aggressive! She doesn't know what she is doing! Another thing she did was sit up and put her arms round me and try to get me to lift her and carry her up in my arms, as though she were a child. By the end of the day I was so tired and I just kept crying because I couldn't do anything for her.

Luvbug came to the hospital straight from work and I never needed a hug so much!

I knew that Mum had a urinary infection because she had been to her doctor last week and told me about it. I cannot begin to imagine how painful it was to be left in wet clothes with this. She kept crying and pulling faces and clutching her pyjamas, but couldn't ask for help. I kept explaining to the nurses that she was burning, but it was hours before she got any painkillers or anti-biotics. They seemed content to leave her lying in it every time the sheets got wet, so I kept taking them off the bed and giving them to the nurses and asking for fresh ones. At one point one of them told me "you may as well leave them because she'll just keep doing it." I wonder, would she leave HER mum like that? I also kept washing her with cool water to try to help her.

When we came away from her Friday night, she was more settled, and was lying on a large pad to help her. I queried her fluids drip- it didn't seem to be working. It turned out that it wasn't. Then after they fixed it, it again didn't seem to be working. We were told that it was, but they had slowed it right down. We had driven half way home before the thought occurred to me -with growing horror!- that they had slowed down her fluids so that they wouldn't have to change her during the night!!!!!! I felt physically sick when I realised that.

Saturday- I arrived at the earliest visiting time allowed- 3pm. Mum was dozing. I said hello and she stared at me. After a while she spoke quietly. But she thought I was her sister. She didn't know why she was there, where she was, etc. I spoke to her about it all, but little went in for very long, so I just sat with her for the hour and held her hand. She held both my hands and slept. I put my head next to hers on the pillow and we just stayed there together till the end of the visiting hour. On the way out, a nurse told me that a doctor had passed her as fit to go home! I told her, er no, I think not, she thinks I am her sister, this is not normal.... so she asked, "Oh! Is that not normal for your mother then?" -!!!!!!!!!!! Turned out she wasn't convinced by the doctor, hence her asking me about it. I told her that maybe she would be better Sunday, perhaps then. To this, she said, "Oh well the doctor won't review her tomorrow, not if he's passed her fit today."

Sunday- In the afternoon she was still confused over who I was, and Luvbug, too, whom she thought was still at school(!). But this time when I explained things to her they seemed to stay "in". But she asked where she lived, and whether she had any pets, and what job I do, or what did I used to do..... lots of memory gone.
This evening's visit was better- she remembered her address and her cats, though not their names.

This evening they had to move her to another ward. Seemed a bed was needed so the fittest patient had to transfer. This was mum. So, since Friday, she has been- A&E, Assessment Ward, Dickens [general care] Ward, and now, believe it or not, she has a bed in a cancer ward, simply because that is where the free bed was. The good part is that it is in a new block, so very comfy, tv by the bed, en suite bathroom. The bad part, of course, is that it is another team again, and this hospital seems *crap* at passing on information.

On the way out, as a sort of after-thought, I stopped the nurse and asked, "Has anyone passed on that mum can't eat lamb, as it makes her ill?" They hadn't. Another note on another file.

Luvbug has gone home now. I'm finishing up mum's laundry and tidying, remaking her bed, etc. Just in case they do discharge her tomorrow, as I think they will.

I called this post 'crisis point' as I feel it's a turning point: now we know it's seizures, how about some treatment? Therapy? A plan, someone? anyone?
So far there has been nothing said about treatment for epilepsy, or info about the condition. I did tell them that her doctor had said that an EEG should be done as near to an attack as possible, but no one is interested. All I think I can do is get her home and look after her, and get her to see her own GP as soon as possible.

I don't know how, but she has lost weight again. Maybe there is a weight below which her body just can't cope. I need to help feed her up again, though with me being here every other week, I just don't understand how she has lost it.....

I feel I am almost alone, fighting for her. I feel I am kicking water trying not to drown. I don't know what I would do without Luvbug. Oh, and the only sibling I have in this country hasn't even called to get an update. Let alone come visit. He lives half the distance away.

Oh well at least typing all this has got something out of my system..........

Please send out good vibes this way......

Is this Armageddon???!!!!

Do you remember the film Ghostbusters?
Do you remember Bob Murray's list of signs that the world is ending?
One of them was cats and dogs getting married!
Well, I fear the worst, people....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait! It gets worse!-
WHAT is the baby????? Is it a dat or a cog???????

NOOO!!!!!!!!! This is cutesy gone too far!!!!!!

I'm going for a lie down......

A(nother) Luvbug!!!

Oops! I almost forgot to show you this....A LuvBug!!!!! LOL!
This is what Luvbug bought me for Valentine's Day.
We have a "£5 maximum" rule, so the pressie is always fun. But it really made me laugh this year!

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Off to mum's again later today. This week has flown by.

I didn't expect the commuting between mum's and home to be so exhausting. I think it's the adjusting that does it. As soon as I am used to being home, I'm off for a week at mum's. And as soon as I'm settled there, it's time to return home! My head gets worn out adjusting and readjusting, I think.

Luckily, we have heard from the solicitor handling the purchase of mum's new place and it might all be going through in just 2 or 3 weeks.

I hope the next few months are OK for us all......

Getting more lovely things in the post :)

That cat stamp arrived!
So I've been colouring a few moggies in...So far I have only used one, and this I have set leaning on top of an address label on a parcel to someone :)


The fancy edging is courtesy of another parcel that was waiting for me when I got home on Monday- I've at last been able to replace my broken cutter:This Woodware one has lots of different edging blades that you can collect. You get a straight one and the wavy one in the initial pack. I've been cutting up every scrap in sight. It's so smooth and satisfying to use. I'm easily amused, aren't I?

Next, an intriguing parcel containing this wee box:It was from Miss Peach and her lovely Mum, Karla!
Look what she sent me!-Two multi-coloured stamp pads, a lovely Valentine ATC and some clear stamps.
Can you see what she's written? "4U because you have a..." and the stamp says LUVBUG. LOL!!!!!!
She said that when she saw it, she knew I needed it.
THANK YOU, Karla!!!!! I haven't had time to nip over to your blog yet, but I hope my card to Miss Peach gets there OK. It's quite pink and peachy so she should like it :)

And then, today, what do I wake up to but this-From Lorianna :) I love cards with birds on. I think I've said this before. Don't know why, even, but they always look classy and interesting. And the choccies survived the post! (There were three, but the third didn't survive the Luvbug.)

I am saving them for Easter. I am using the season of Lent to focus on not eating sugar or wheat. I THINK I have more energy when I don't eat these. I THINK. It's a sort of experiment, really.

Anyway there is a tag inside, tied with an organza ribbon:The camera didn't pick up the gold, or the glitter very well but you get a wee taste of how lovely it is. What a nice surprise! It really gave me a lift. THANKS, Lorianna!

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Lorianna is going through a deep blue patch at the moment, battling depression as well as terrible pains form her arthritis. Please nip by and leave her a cyber-hug if you have a moment. Send some positive vibes her way. Just think of the nicest, biggest chocolate cake and then think of her. I think that's how it works :)

Cards and shopping :)

After packing up a box of 60+ cards to send out to the USA the other day (horrayyyy!!!!) I felt sort of, well, cardless. LOL! So I was suddenly itching to make some new ones.

I brought some crafty stuff with me to mum's this time. I had allowed myself one SMALL box full. Though, it's amazing how much you can squeeze in a small box when you're determined :)

So, in the evenings, I've been a-pootling. Here's what I've come up with....

Cats....

inside:

& of course, hedgehogs...

...the inside:
Last one- I do like the darker colours scheme on this one:& inside:

The cat one is water-coloured, the hedgehogs are coloured with ProMarkers. Which effect do you prefer? I find either relaxing to do, but I think I like the effect of the water colour best.

The fancier-than-my-normal inside of the cards came from necessity and impatience:
I had no large paper suitable for a simple lining, and I couldn't leave finishing the cards till I got home Sunday night!

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I need a bit of variety, I think. I seem to have so many hedgehogs! Would any of you stampers out there be able to stamp a few images for me? Hmm??? I would gladly swap some crafty stuff for some. Please email me if you can help!!!

This evening I found a lovely online shop, Dies to Die For. I enjoyed exploring their huge stock of stamps whilst mum watched CSI :)

I fell for this one, I'm afraid. And, as it was in a sale, found myself pressing the PayPal button.... sigh..... teehee!!

Ah well! I am looking forward to colouring him. What do you reckon, a silver tabby? Ginger? :)
And what is he leaning on? I just loved the expression on his face!

Back at mum's

I don't know why I worry about mum's loss of memory. I'm doing it myself.

This morning I put on some porridge for breakfast, then walked out of the room and started doing something else. The next thing I know, it's black smoke and stinky burnt oats billowing in the kitchen. OOOPSS!!!!

I tell mum about my own little 'senior moments' like these, in the hope that it will make her feel better, tell her that it's ok, we all have them. I don't think it's having that reassuring effect at all; she now just thinks it's hereditary!

Mouse Swap part 2!

The best thing about being in a "swap" is that you never know what you're going to get back, and it's always a surprise to see how different people's styles are.

Meet Mrs Wintermouse!Isn't she cute?

Her body is made of soft corduroy and her clothes are made of felt, with a silk inset around her face and knitted scarf and muff.
Such dainty little stitches. This must have taken some patience to make!

Thanks, Amy!!!!

156 countries

OK, now see if you can get through this one dry-eyed.
Come to think of it, I'm pretty hormonal right now, so perhaps I'm the oly one who couldn't. LOL!

• 156 countries sing together

Nature's tranquiliser

PLEASE click and look at the cat on this video!
I just watch it and go warm and calm!

• Cat in Slow Motion

Enjoy!