Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

ABC Wednesday......

J is for Joy.....

This is my God-daughter skipping through the woods last spring.
I could have posted this under H for Hazel, her name.
Or W for woods....S for skipping..... maybe I for innocence....
But
Joy seemed to sum it up best.

I took this photo' with my old 35mm automatic, before I had a digital camera.
So I wasn't able to just shoot off loads and keep a good one.
I took two; the other was a blur.
I've just scanned it in, no retouching.
What a good fluke!
Funny, I hadn't noticed that slight blur around the top of her head before.

Cropped this way it might be a metaphor for her journey ahead......

I keep this photo in a plain wooden frame on my mantelpiece. It reminds me, especially on bad days, that there is more to life.....

*****

For more ABC Wednesday posts, go to Mrs Nesbitt's blog, and check the comments on her ABC post..... the other participants are leaving their links there!

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Wednesday, 19 March 2008

ABC Wednesday....

I is for IDLE DOODLING...........


This is a typical doodle of mine.
Sometimes I colour in some of the shapes.
But mostly I don't like that.
It doesn't "feel" right.
It frustrates me and I end up tearing it up and starting again, this time leaving the shapes "open".

I know you get graphologists, who try to interpret your handwriting, but do you also get doodle-ologists? If so, I'd be intrigued to know what they would make of this.....

Intersecting, curling swirls. Teardrops, possibly. Or flowers. Hmmmm.... do you see anything? Other than the men in white coats approaching...?

*****

For more ABC Wednesday posts, go to Mrs Nesbitt's blog, where there is a list of participants.

*****

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

ABC Wednesday....

H is for...........
HOBNOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ahhh........ yummy OATY biscuit, so much finer than your little wheaty cousins...
Let us look into your family tree.....

First there was the ORIGINAL HOBNOB:
Then came the MILK CHOCOLATE HOBNOB ahhhh... the perfect dunker..... :
Then came the only possible improvement- the DARK CHOCOLATE HOBNOB!
Alas!
No more!
They stopped making them last year....
how COULD they??? HAIKU for the departed Dark Chocolate HOBNOB:
Poor little dark one,
not too sweet, always just right,
oh, how we miss you.

Next came HOBNOBS IN A TUBE... perfect for the drawer at work.....

(well, NEARLY perfect- perfection would have included a padlock device)

And then... Oh Heavens! can it be?

The HOBNOB CREAMS:

But lo! Here come the imitators......

HA!

Well it's nice to see the 'own brands' trying an oaty bic at last, but frankly, they don't come close.

Did you know that wherever there are biscuits there will be found Bears?

So which Biscuit is best?

Let's let the Bears decide.... !!!

Click on the video link to see!


If you can't see the video here, try HERE instead!

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For all the other bloggers doing ABC Wednesday,
go to the list on
Mrs Nesbitt's Site.
Enjoy your browsing- & why not join in yourself?!

*********

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Uncle Shadows


If Depression were a person I would hate him.

Oh true, he does bring gifts. But it's like having a horrible relative who turns up just when you were having a decent day with everyone else. In he walks, uninvited, but his foot is in the door before you can refuse. You force a smile for the sake of everyone else in the room. I hate him for that forced smile.

Then he proffers a little plastic carrier bag in which a few gifts are bulging. "Oh," thinks everyone else, "he can't be that bad. What was she moaning about?"

You take the bag graciously and sneak a peek: a few unusual gifts inside- unwrapped, and a little rough round the edges. You'll investigate them later. For now, you are on autopilot. Must keep the other guests comfortable. Must carry on. Must appear normal.

After a while, the time for the others to leave comes round. They see you are coping with him. In fact, he seems to fit in well.

In the following days and weeks he saps your strength with his demanding presence. Then, after a time, he starts to nip out. A 10 minute walk here, a half hour stroll there. One day he doesn't come back. You can't believe it, keep looking out the window, up and down the road. Eventually it sinks in: he's gone.

You set to work tidying your home, flushing out the last of him. And you come across that bag.... what's in it? A listening ear..... a few creative brain cells.... a packet of sense of humour.... he's a personal relative, remember, so for you the bag might be different.

I loathe him.
He is a robber of time. His domineering presence takes up half of my alloted space, leaving me living a half-life. Add up every visit and he owes me years. YEARS. And all that those years were meant to contain.

Tonight I realised that he had been lodging here for a while again. Ah! That explains the messy house! And why I haven't been able to sleep lately. And why the impetus to do anything has been drained. Ah yes! He is here again. Must have sneaked in when I wasn't on guard.

I am on autopilot again, half alive, living a half life. Sometimes only the anger keeps me going. Anger at the cheek of him, and determination that he doesn't take the other half as well.

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

ABC Wednesday....

G is for Graffiti


Normally, graffiti annoys me. It's nothing to do with entering my 40s: I've always been a grouch on this one.

And the writer/artist can't win: if it's scruffy, spelt wrong or rude, I think those responsible should go home and read a few books. If it's artistic, neat and original, I think "Why can't they use that talent somewhere else?"


It's rare that I actually feel any admiration for it. Banksy is an exception (click link for a blog that has some of his stuff on display).

But then came lots of followers, imitaters. It all got very samey, this 'street art', and entered it's own arena of annoyance.

-I do worry that I sound like my father when I moan about such things.

But then I saw this.....

This piece of graffiti (a graffito, I'm told) appeared not far from my home about a month ago. It made me smile..................

"Thanks for my birthday card Lucy, all my love, hugs and kisses, Thinking of you every day, Dad xxx"

It made me ask lots of questions....

  • The writing looks like "typical female writing"- you know, neat and rounded. Yet it's apparently written by a man.
  • Why did he leave a message here?
  • Are he and his daughter's mum estranged?
  • Is this his only way to get a message to Lucy?
  • Does he live miles and miles away, and did he drive up in the night and leave this for her?

There are lots of possible stories behind this very human message. This is why this is a piece of graffiti that I actually enjoy walking past. It makes me smile. It makes me think.

No fancy lettering, colouring or slogans. Plain and simple. Unflashy and "uncool". But it grabs my attention every time.

I hope Lucy saw it.


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For all the other bloggers doing ABC Wednesday, go to the list on Mrs Nesbitt's Site. Enjoy your browsing- & why not join in yourself?!
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Wednesday, 27 February 2008

ABC Wednesday....


F is for feathers............


...Like the ones on this European Eagle Owl.

His name is Sid.

A close up of Sid's feathers..........and one that he decided he didn't need any more:Some people can paint birds onto discarded feathers....they must have buckets of patience!

This one is an inch high. We bought it in Edinburgh:
These two were gifts from Nicaragua:

(This one is my favourite. I like the look on his face.)

Here are a few more feathers, these ones found in my garden.......
first, from a wee goldfinch (see the gold?)
this one is from a sparrowhawk. Those are white lines, on the top edge....
Lastly, here is an unusual Christmas decoration: a wreath made of feathers!

The sales assistant was trying to encourage purchases by telling people it would also make a great Easter Centrepiece. Hmm... not sure! But it's lovely and soft and fluffy.

And speaking of Fluffy, here's one of my cat, "Fluffy"! She's a fantastic friend!
*****
You can see more of Sid The Owl and his friends on this video of my Falconry Experience Day, where I met him:




*****

I bet there are lots of feathers in this week's ABC Wednesday! If you'd like to check out the other participants, or find out how to join in, please visit Mrs Nesbitt's blog!


*****

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

ABC Wednesday.... E is for......


....Evidence of the English Civil War.........

I moved to Colchester in 2003 and am still learning about the history of this town, rumoured to be England's "oldest recorded town".

The English Civil War ran from 1642 to 1649. Colchester was under siege in 1648. The siege, lasting 76 days, was one of the most important events of the war. Evidence of some of the violence that took place is still easily found around the town. Yesterday I went out and photographed two examples....

Bit of background info. re. the siege: A Royalist army, gathered from Kent, Hertfordshire and Essex occupied colchester. They were supporting King Charles I against Parliament. Once inside the town walls, they were surrounded by the Parliamentarian army, commanded by Lord Fairfax.

The siege lasted through a very cold and wet summer, ending on August 28th 1648. By this time, the residents of the town were so desperate for food that they had begun to eat rats.

(1)The Old Siege House, East Bridge, East Street.
[above] The Old Siege House showing East Bridge in the background (the car is about to drive over it). It still bears the marks of a night-long battle from 1648.

The Old Siege House, taken from the bridge


This Tudor building overlooks a bridge across the River Colne. It was originally part of a mill. The mill was occupied by members of the Parliamentarian army on July 5th 1648. This cut off the bridge, which was used as a route into town by Royalist raiding parties searching for food. It also posed a threat to the south of the town, a place still called The Hythe, which was a port. The Royalists, therefore, decided they could not allow this occupation to take hold.

That night, 500 foot-soldiers and 200 horsemen from the Royalist army charged down East Hill. They were led by Sir George Lisle and Sir Charles Lucas.

When they reached the bridge, they were met by Parliamentarian musketeers. Fighting broke out and many of the musketeers were killed. The fighting went on through the night. At one point, Lucas's cavalry chased Parliamentarian troops up the hill away from the town, only to be met by reinforcements who had been coming to stop the Royalists. This group formed a fierce counter-attack and the Royalists were forced back into the town. They had killed lots of men and taken lots of prisoners, but failed to take any food from the mill or port.

The building now called The Old Siege House still shows holes from some of the musket balls from these fights:

[above] Some of the holes made by the musket balls are highlighted with red metal rings around them. I put my hand next to this one to show how big they are.


[above] The beams under the "overhang" at the front of the building- more holes left by musket balls.

Spot the holes? This [above] is at the side of the building, facing the river.

The wood carving, beams and brickwork are all mid 16th century.

This was just one night of the long siege of the town. If you'd like to find out more about the Civil War, here's a link. Or here's a link to a page about the Colchester siege.

(2) The Monument, Castle Park

What happened in Colchester after the siege?

The Royalists surrendered to the Parliamentarians. The townspeople, who had suffered at the hands of both armies, were fined £14,000 (about £2 million in today's terms). Most of the town had been burned. The town walls were ordered to be pulled down, so that nobody would be able to fortify the town ever again. Those remaining Royalist soldiers who were unable to purchase their freedom were herded out of the town, stripped, beaten and left to starve. Many were sent abroad as slaves to the West Indies.

Remember Sir Charles Lucas and Sir George Lisle? The leaders of the fight at East Street? Here is a monument to them, in the grounds of Colchester Castle, where they were later held prisoner, before being executed:

The obelisk marks the spot where they were executed:

I hope you've found this brief look at some of this town's history interesting.

Last, but not least, this wee fella was keeping watch over the monument, so I threw him a nut:

Hard to believe such things took place here, when it was so peaceful walking about with my camera, feeding the squirrels. Perhaps because of the cold and the clear sky, it was so quiet.......

*****

For links to everyone else doing the ABC Wednesday, & instructions on how to take part, visit Mrs Nesbitt's site.

*****

Monday, 18 February 2008

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took these at 8am today.
This is the back garden from the back of the house.
It isn't snow: that's frost!

I had put out some food for the birds, as well as getting the ice out of their birdbaths and re-filling, with tepid water. You can still see the ice that I removed from the birdbath yesterday and the day before- it's been too cold for it to melt!This is one of a lot of cheeky chappies we get.
We have about 9 blackbirds visiting us regularly, though I've counted 11 in the tree at the same time. This is unusual as they're a territorial bird most of the time. I think they're putting up with each other in the cold, as they know there is a regular good source of food nearby. Most of them are male, I've only ever seen two females at the same time.Here you can see our Christmas Tree! Still in its pot, I water it regularly but leave it here on the decking. My plan is to put it in a big terrocotta pot when it's warmer. I'd love to plant it out but the garden isn't really big enough for a Norway Spruce!The spruce looks like it's covered in snow. I think it's whispering to itself, "Wow! I'm a real Christmas tree at last! At last!"

Hmmm... I guess I should have put that washing line away.... hey ho!

I don't mind it being cold, so long as the sky is bright and blue. I hope it warms up for the wee birdees soon though.