Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

NO!!! I simply won't allow it!

Mum had an appointment with at the hospital Monday, this time to do with her osteoporosis. She had an MRI in October and this was the first opportunity to review the results. We already knew there were fractures, but this was to see if surgery could help.....

Well I'm GLAD that mum is hard of hearing and forgets to switch her hearing aid to a different setting indoors. I'm GLAD that we waited over an hour and she was really tired when we got in there. And I'm GLAD that we only got 8 minutes given to us once we were in ....

WHY? Because the dumbass doctor talked about cancer, that's why. And there's no point hedging it, saying things like, "Don't lose any sleep over it." and, "My gut feeling is that it isn't, but..." because just MENTIONING the Big C to mum right now would set her into a tail spin.

What if she had gone alone? She'd have been escorted out of the room afterwards -with no counselling, no niceties, not so much as a leaflet.

So. What do we do now?

She is having anther MRI tomorrow. This one is to compare with the one she had in October. Doc wants to see if the wedge fracture has healed or "done more".

In the 6 month old scan, one vertebrae has squashed down flat, and squished out whatever it is that is normally inside. This stuff has only narrowly missed the spinal cord. 1mm over and she'd have lost the use of her legs. O M G!!!!!!!

Then, the doctor told me to make an appointment with him on the way out of the hospital for 2 weeks' time, for a follow-up consultation. I went to book it and was told he was booked up till June. Shouldn't he know this???

Hey ho. We have a moving date. April 1st! I'm not sure of the auspices of that ;) Good news, huh?!!!

So I told them about the move and they got all huffy like we were being sooooo inconvenient. After there was no chance of a follow-up appointment, the receptionist said she may as well cancel the MRI, too. OH NO I DON'T THINK SO!!! You leave that delete button alone, missy. If mum has the scan, at least all she'll be waiting for at the new place is the follow-up! I'm not letting something like an MRI get lost in the transfer!

As for the Big C...... not saying ANYTHING to mum. No, no no. NO.

I've played my best smiley, positive, optimist all week.
No need to say the rest.
Specially as I'm not even sure this guy knows what he's talking about. -When we walked in his room together, he asked which of us the appointment was for. Hmm, so you're really familiar with the file, then, doc? -Nope, not even enough to know which of us was the 68 year old underweight, unwell woman...

Luvbug rang and I poured out all.
"How are coping with it?" he asked :)
(I love Luvbug.)
"I'm not letting it in." I said, "It's in the outer level. -There's my brain in my head, and there is a waiting area outside of it." [a lot of my school maths got stuck there, never made it in.] "I'm not letting it in. It's too full in here. "

Not just my head, either. I'm simply not allowing cancer. She can't take that one. She CANNOT have it. No. She isn't strong enough. Not for that. No cancer here, move along, move along. You're not coming in. I won't let you. Sod off.

I simply will not entertain the idea, let alone the worry.


Feronia said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you and your Mum are getting such appalling medical care, Helena. I would certainly try to get a second opinion. Good news on the moving date, though.

Stardust said...

Glad that the moving date is decided. I'm sorry too to hear so much going on there...

Like Feronia said, I hope that a second opinion helps.

Hugs, for you've been giving more than your best out there.

Julie said...

Think Positive! Yay to a move date!! Yippee! Then a new hospital and a second opinion. Things will be so much easier for you all once Mum is near you. Forget ignorant doctors.

i beati said...

very soon the move- good..sandy

Angel and Kirby said...

We are glad you have a move date! I am not impressed with your doctors and health care. I have held my tongue about it up till now. They just passed a public health care bill here ans it scares me that the quality of care will be lost!

Sorry, I should not be venting. Get a second and a third opinion and throw out the first!

WHen they found a spot on my Mothers lung, we said we would take it one day at a time. You do not put an 88 year old through the rigors of cancer treatments. It turned out to be scar tissue from pneumonia!

Hopefully your Mom's will be as easy as that!

Chris said...

Oh what a worrying time for you and so difficult!!
Bloomin' doctors sometimes they are so useless... just when you feel like they should be supporting you they let you down.

My Dad was once told he had the big 'C' by a specialist who just LOOKED at him. He spent a very worrying weekend (not telling any of us what he had been told) until his own G.P. told him it was stuff and nonsence and demanded an apology from the consultant. The apology came but the point is it shouldn't have happened in the first place...what right have they to play God.

Ooooh sorry but it makes me so angry and I sooooo feel for you and your Mum. I truly hope that the results are ok...I will be thinking of you.

Take care of you too cos you are important and its a big burden for you with everything else you have going on.

Chris xx

Jackie said...

Its a good job you're moving. Will you go to a different hospital then? I can't believe what appalling treatment you're getting. Your Mum isn't so old either is she. I mean only 10 years older than me and when you get to this age 68 isn't so old.
I hope things improve soon.Good luck with the move.
I notice Julie's here in teh comments cheerleading for you. She's a star.