Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

The cost of going out


Luvbug and I had a meal in London Friday night; his parents had stopped over en route from Ireland to Switzerland for a holiday.

We left mum around 5.30. I 'phoned her at 7.45. I tried to call again at 9, during our meal, but no answer. A few more tries, no answer. When we drove home we came via Mum's, to check she was ok.

I found her in bed, with two duvets wrapped round her. Remembering that a high temperature can bring on a fever, I gently pulled one away. She woke up. She was still half dressed under there. She was talking about birdies, or baddies, I couldn't quite make it out.

I'm not going into details more than that, but there was evidence in her home of confusion, including with her pills, despite the special container for them, which is divided into days and times of day. She couldn't remember if she had gone to bed early, or what she had done in the evening, but said that she had lost track of the time and the day. We stayed for a while to check she was going to be ok, but of course we couldn't really know. We just had to hope for the best, when we left her settled down again, and sneaked out at nearly 1am.

We had a disturbed, worried night, then I headed to her place in the morning, where she was tired and vague all day. I bought a thermometer recently so I can check her temperature if ever she is out of sorts, and this was ok.

She's continued to improve as the week has gone on, but we are left reeling, half stunned, that our first evening to ourselves since October caused, or at least resulted in, confusion and panic and upset on her part. It has left us with heavy hearts, I can't deny it.

4 comments:

Angel and Kirby said...

Helena, You r night out did not cause this episode! You know it could have happened even if you were right there! yes, the timing sucked. Bur you can not confine your and Luvbug's life with guilt. Did you have a good dinner? Did you enjoy the outing? Then you need to do it again!

Feronia said...

Angel and Kirby are right, Helena. It is a very difficult and saddening situation with your Mum but you absolutely need to have time for yourselves. Would it help to leave a very detailed note for your Mum? Perhaps you are already doing this? Something like 'Helena has gone to dinner. She will be back at X p.m. Have these tablets at X p.m.' etc., etc. Just a suggestion to perhaps head off any confusion and running off the rails.

Helena said...

It was a lovely evening. I am usually so nervous around Luvbug's family- no reason to be, I know, because they are all lovely! But this time I had a glass of wine and relaxed.

I do think it was our absence that caused mum to have a confusion episode, though. I kno0w we mustn't let it stop us trying to find time for ourselves, but all the same, I do worry about her....

anyway....

yes, I've tried writing down where I've gone and when I'll be back, and sticking the note to the TV!!! But she still worries and panics and rings to ask where I am!!!

Stardust said...

Sorry to know that you got to worry so much even on a dinner out. I guess much things would need adjustment. =(

Do you see possibility of bringing her along next time? Or being out occassionally with just 3 of you to let her understand that there are times Helena would be going out. But I know you're trying the best you can.