Holding on

Still here.
Thank you for your kind comments.


I stayed on the sofa last night. Managed to sleep a couple of hours. Made a fuss of Scooter, whose sinus problem was having a noisy stage. When Kevin got up for work I gave Scooter his morning meds in a piece of raw pork, then kissed K 'have a nice day' and headed for bed.


A little more sleep, check-in with mum on phone at 9am, then downstairs to check on Scooter who was........ sitting outside in the sun!


I kept an eye on him out there, and as the sun moved round so I put down blankies farther and farther down the garden to catch the warm rays. Eventually the roof of the house made it impossible to keep up. Eventually he retreated to indoors again.


Mum was up not long after 1. She has managed to get a bus here on her own for about 2 weeks now which is at once amazing and terrifying.


I cooked salmon for everyone. Scooter had a belly full.


I haven't eaten much this week, but I enjoyed my salmon pie and chips.


Still low. Cry when I think of Scooter not getting better.


Meeting up with Beanie on Sunday. Nervy but optimistic. Don't think I'm the best company at the mo.


I am saddest of all to see the summer go, especially when I see Scooter clinging to the last warm rays. He loves to lie in the sun. If only he were going into summer with this illness, not winter.


I can't think very much. I am worn out.

V low :(

I've been sinking for a while, but bobbing up and down really, so not hitting the bottom.

These last few days it's almost undescribable but I'll try for you:

• it's like when your computer goes into 'safe mode', shutting down everything but the essentials...
• it's like being an origami shape that is now closing down inwards...
• it's like grief, heart wrenching, head spinning, grief;  intermittent periods of blankness despersed with seeringly sharp heartbreak and buckets of tears.

Saw the GP today. Sending me for bloodtests to test hormone levels and thyroid.

Then saw the art therapist, who told me to ring the team there, any time, whether he's there or not.

The pills don't work, not even the back up ones, so they've been increased.

I bought some brandy. But that doesn't work either.

Don't worry I only got a small bottle. I know it's not the answer. Just wanted a break from my head.

 1am here. Off to bed I suppose. Check on Scooter..... he is holding his own but not vrey animated, eating, a little. It's harder and harder to get the pills into him. A part of me has broken deep down and said, he is going.... he is fading away.... and I fought and fought that feeling and those words till I had no strength left, like it was my strength that kept him going, and now something deep down has let go...

Oh ignore me. I'm potty. I wish I could be normal.

Scooter the brave

I finally cleared up the conservatory, turned out two black bags of rubbish, re-filed stuff, discovered a duvet and pillow to wash and found a desk underneath it all. Hurray! A desk in the brightest room! A place to read, sip tea, crochet, create, in daylight............ er no, cos then Scooter found it. One folded quilt later and....

I took this one a few minutes later. He is enjoying the sun on his face. Look closely; I'm sure that's a wee smile there:

Like I said last time, there are times when he makes my heart go ahhhhhh......

This evening, on my return from taking Mum out for a few hours, he seemed odd. Not quite right. Mum was making a fuss of him, still there on the table, and I don't know what it was, but he didn't seem quite right.

Next Luvbug was helping get the washing in from the garden. I was looking at Scooter and thought he was falling off the table, so I ran indoors.

Scooter wouldn't be helped or hugged, instead he jumped down to the floor and, walking on his haunches, proceeded to sniff out a trail on a floor. He worked like a bloodhound, not lifting his head, just constantly sniffing as he went along, through and out of that room, then into and all round the next, obstacles either being ignored, whereupon he just marched on the spot, or climbed over under or through. He went through the living room, all round the edges while we moved stuff out of his way, then around the kitchen, to the back door, then back, round in circles.....

At first we sort of laughed, nervously, hoping that what had happened is that the catarrh had suddenly gone and now he was enjoying sniffing smells for the first time in ages! But I wasn't so sure. It was like he was having a manic episode.

At one point he circled my legs and did a tiny 'mow' as though to ask for help, so I lifted him up (I'd tried before but he'd wrestled me away) and held him for quite a while, whilst Mum and Luvbug talked quietly to him. He settled, relaxed, half closed his eyes after a while.. finally he was calm. Mum and I sat with him and stroked him and encouraged him to just rest. Then he was off, jumping down and over to one of his best stretching out spots. His eyes were meeting mine at last, so I felt he was back to normal.

When Scoot had a seizure a few months ago, they said it was really important to get him to eat, as seizures make the blood sugar drop. So I put a sachet of his favourite mushy smelly goodness in front of him and he ate nearly all of it.

He's now back to the quilt on top of the desk, stretched out. I keep checking on him.

Any cat people out there with any advice?

I think this was a funny turn, aka, a seizure. I wonder if this is it now, seizures on a downward slope. Maybe it isn't cataarh, maybe it's a tumour. The vet did hint at checking for this if the meds didn't work, trouble is, it owuld mean knocking Scooter out, and at 18 1/2 yrs old, that isn't advisable.


I've a had cry in the loo. And I'm sipping a brandy.

My poor cub.

More crochet....& update on Scooter

Scooter's latest favourite sleepy place is by the conservatory door. He is lying on- a pillow, a folded fleece cover, followed by a memory foam cushion and a furry underblanket. I said to Luvbug, it's like that story, The Princess And The Pea. He suggested I put a cat biscuit at the bottom and see if Scoot can feel it.

He loves the conservatory because he can feel out and in at the same time, and cats like that.

I've invested in a Vicks Steam Vaporizer. You fill it with water, plug it in, and soon you have a steady stream of steam to humidify the room. I've switched it on in 'his' room. I'm surprised at how it heats the room up! I don't know if it will help his catarrh, but I can always use it when I next get asthma-ry myself :)

Over the weekend Scooter got so much better. We were all saying how amazed we were at such a recovery! Then on Sunday night, soon after I gave him his night dose of anti-biotic, he suddenly got worse, wheezing and snorting with every breath, unable to settle or eat. I stayed up with him till 3am. Eventually I got him to rest by continually stroking and gently pushing into the area under his chin/back of his throat. When I did this the snorting stopped. After 15 minutes or so I was able to remove my hand without the noise returning and so my poor cub got to sleep at last.

8am I was up, and the noise in his throat was back. It didn't calm down till the afternoon. I rang the vet, desperate to know how on earth he could have gone backwards like this. He said that maybe the anti-biotic had just 'loosened a big piece of horrableness' and now Scooter was having to deal with it, uable to cough it out or spit like we would. So on his advice I continued with the medicine.

He still isn't 100%. But he is eating and likes being stroked. Still a bit noisy and sniffy. The decongestant is a real help, I think. I didn't even know cats could have these and wonder why he was never given them before.

Right now he is out in the October sun. I've put one of his covers on the outdoor table and he has used the chairs as steps and got up there and stretched out. He makes my heart go "Ahhhhh...."

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Here is a bit of felting. I crocheted this bag in wool and then threw it in the washing machine with some towels and hit 'hot as you like'. It shrank, and while still wet I pulled it into shape, filled it with bubble wrap and left it to dry.

Next, I used old skirt material to line it, added a piece of ribbon label inside, and a magnetic clasp.

I covered the clasp with a square of the skirt material and sewed on small buttons (because I didn't have a single one big enough!)

The local fabric/wool shop had a competition to make a bag or a cushion, so I entered it. I knew it wouldn't win but I just wanted to see it with all the others. That was good!

I'm enjoying learning to crochet but have to pace myself and stop as soon as my finger joints hurt. I still can't do a circle. That's my next challenge: I've found a pattern for a lovely round cushion cover.....

First in a series of catch-ups, or at least, that's what I plan!

Meet Caroline.
Or to be precise, meet Caroline meeting Bob and Dilly!

Caroline and I met at St Thomas More's Primary School in the mid 70s. We were great friends, despite her being a year below me, meaning different peer groups and clubs etc. And of course, me leaving for secondary school before her.

After I'd left we kept in touch as penpals. Nowadays I suppose kids would swap mobile phone numbers and text each other. Exchange messages on Facebook? But I wonder if these methods will produce a correspondence that will stand the test of time. Writing letters was fun. Getting post was exciting. And tangible letters written on best paper were kept, whereas modern messages are deleted.

Well despite keeping in touch all these years, the last time we'd actually met was 1996! I sent her something for her birthday last month, and she wrote back to say that she was coming to my area for a conference- and couldwe meet for lunch? My instant response was panic, panic, panic. But here is the advantage of the faster paced correspondence- a text response was called for, and delay would send a message of coolness, would it not? So I said yes, and worried about it afterwards.

There was nothing to worry about, of course, I just get sooooo nervous. I'm always convinced that people will only like me while they're not meeting me.

We had about 2 hours before she had to go. The weather was amazing and we ate outside among the trees in the garden of an art cafe. Lots of laughter!

I do hope we meet up again soon. We can't possibly leave it 15 years again- I'll be 58!!

Here's what I sent Caroline for her birthday.
I've been teaching myself crochet since June/July.

Still can't do circles.
But I can do even squares at last.
I lined this little purse with fabric from a dress I bought in Peacocks for £2 (good way to get nice material, I have learned!)
The button was from a bag of vintage buttons bought at a fair, about a dozen for £2.50.


I am enjoying getting into crochet and rummaging for vintagey fabric.

This purse is made with bamboo yarn, so is really soft. I've also done some in wool, then felted them. I hope to do more updates and show you some!



Thank you all for your purrs and purrayers for Scooter. I managed to get his medicine down him today, his snuffles and snorts seem less, and quieter, or maybe I just hopeful. He has slept most of the day away, and hasn't eaten much. Though he did enjoy joining in with our fish 'n' chips this evening!

Paws crossed for Scooter again please...*UPDATED*

....I do promise to blog about something cheerful soon... like a look at the crochet I've learnt, or photo's from the park, all those things I;ve fallen behind showing you.....


But until then, please concentrate your thoughts on my dear cat, Scooter. His 'sniffles' this summer didn't clear, and now he is left with a thick cataarh that makes each breath a snort. He can't smell his food so he isn't eating very much. He doesn't like cuddles.

Asleep in his tent. He loves it indoors and out!

He loves the tent I bought him. Inside are his favourite blankies and at night I place a quilt over the top and tuck a hot water bottle at the side. Once he is in a deep sleep he sleeps soundly. A cute snore for a while, then quietly.

The snorting noise grows louder when he tries to purr...... :(

I am low at the moment anyway, much of which I suspect is hormonal, but the result is that I have no more tears to cry at the moment. I have wept buckets two nights in a row. Please can you all send good vibes to this dear gentleman of cats, who passed his half birthday last month, making him now 18 1/2.

V-E-T appointment today, 5.55 British Summer Time.

I'll let you know what he says....

UPDATE

The vet said that Scooter didn't look worn out or too bothered by his predicament, which is good. I had to give a bad report of my efforts to get anti-biotics down him, I'm afraid. He would have had about half his prescribed course.

For the moment, he says let's assume it's a nasty dose of phlegm and not go looking for tumours and other nasties...... The anitbiotic seems to have done enough to stop him having a runny nose, but didn't break it all up. So he has prescribed a different antibiotic together with a decongestant. I've also ordered a warm-steam vaporizer from Amazon. (Well, if it doesn't help Scooter, I'll put it in the cupboard for our own wintercolds or my next bad dose of asthma!)

Now for my new method of tablet admin: I crush the medicine in a pestal & mortar till it's powder, then mix into a little gravy or paste or jelly, something from one of his favourite flavour of the moment. Then I scoop this into a syringe and, when he is least expecting it, squirt it into the side of his mouth.

Some gets immediately rejected and projectile-vomited into my hair, and my fingers get covered in scratches, but hopefully most of the medicine gets in.

He seems to forgive me after about 15 minutes.

I'll follow this regime for 14 days and hope it cures all.......

Thank you for you kind messages and crossed fingers and paws, please keep them crossed!

Helena

Love this!

This is my favourite TV ad of all time! I miss it!!!

(Watch out for the frog!)



Now, aren't you smiling?

For Miss Peach

The princess of blogger cats has curled up her tail and snuggled down for the last time. Poor, dear Miss Peach, whose gave us so many smiles and, at almost 19, gave me so much hope when my own, shall we say, 'more advanced in meows' cat, Scooter, was unwell.

Dear Miss Peach. Thousands of miles away, yet her peachiness, gentle, yet knowing and strong, reached all the way to Colchester.

I was late discovering she had moved on as I'd been unable to log on.... I only found out today and have wept buckets for my dear friend across the pond.

I wore my peach coloured scarf when I went to the shops, and chose some flowers... which ones, I thought, as I walked round the flower stall.... suddenly the absolute perfection in peachiness appeared. A mixture of pink carnations and orange roses. Who on earth would normally put those together in a bouquet? Yet together they were perfect- peachy.

I have placed them in a vase near an orangey pottery cat. Nearby, little Fluffy's precious ashes, and a candle for each of them.....

 

I'm alone tonight with my Scooter, as Luvbug is away in Ireland. But Scoot has taken to snuggling next to me and stretching out under the duvet with me. I'll appreciate his cheekiness and warmth even more tonight.

Hedgehog appeal!!! CAN YOU HELP??

**this post will stay at the top for the summer; please scroll down a bit for new posts!**

I've volunteered to man a stall at some summer events, to raise money for Hedgehog Haven, a local charity that helps hedgehogs. There will be a tombola and also a bric-a-brac stall with a hedgie theme.

I have a few 'Penny Black' hedgehog toppers that I'm going to make into cards to sell on the day, and I wanted to ask stampers and crafters and artists out there- can you spare something to put on the stall for the hedgies??? Even just one picture or card, a few bookmarks maybe, or something drawn or stitched???? If you can spare anything, please drop me an email for my address. The hedgies will be very grateful!!!!!

**THANK YOU!!**

ps:

Mum just read this post and said that I should make sure you know that I don't want any actual hedgehogs sent in ;)

Relief

We've had the call from the vet, and been pleasantly surprised by what she had to say....

Scooter's Liver enzymes are up, but not as high as a year ago. The same with his kidneys- some dysfunction there, but not as bad as a year ago. His thyroid is normal, so no change in his thyroid meds needed. The only thing that jumped out was his white blood cell count, which was high. This could be because he is still fighting a sniffle, or might also be because he has spondylitis in his spine. I know that my arthritis has thrown up odd readings when I've had blood tests, e.g. bilirubin being high, but this happens with any inflammation. So maybe it is his riketty old bones that are making that reading high.

I was so relieved that the results weren't showing some dreadful decline.

It also makes me sure that the seizure was a reaction to the flea treatment. The vet said that as he has been treated with it before with no trouble, she doubted it was to blame. But I think it would have been possible for Scoot to have a seizure like this and me miss it: if the other day had been a normal school day, and not a holiday, I wouldn't have known any different. I'd have been at mum's in the afternoon. By the time Luvbug picked us up on the way back from work, the seizure would have been long over and Scooter would have been sleeping it off. We'd have come in, seen him asleep, and thought, ahhh he's ok, sleepy old boy. By 6pm he'd have been up and about, recovered, and eating his supper.

You see? It's possible he HAS had a reaction BEFORE and it's gone unnoticed.

No more 'Frontline' flea treatment for him!