Juggling life through a bi-polar lens. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Mostly trying to tread water in the middle. Creating a likeness to a normal life. Whatever "normal" is...

Saturday, 11 December 2010

Fluffy's last weekend?

Fluffy on Mum's lap in the week...


The vet rang on Wednesday with Fluffy's blood results. I had now been thinking anaemia, maybe, diabetes at worst? He said that her thyroid levels are now normal, so the new drug, Vidalta, has worked there. But her urea levels are sky high. Normal reading would be 10; in October hers was 20. Now it's 63. He said he was very surprised she is doing as well as she is with levels that high; usually, he said, when it is in the 30s they are giving up.....

He says this means that Fluffy's kidneys are shutting down. He thinks that the thyroid drug isn't being matabolised, i.e., it isn't being cleared out of her system. Perhaps, he said, perhaps if we leave off that drug for a little while, it will clear from her system and the urea will go down. So the plan last Wednesday was this: withdraw drugs and wait to see an improvement. If there is one, then we know that the high urea levels were only because of the drug in her system. If there isn't one, then her kidneys really are barely functioning.

Well, last weekend we started feeding her a super-palatable special food called Hills A/D and she loved it! Yum yum yum, we started to call it her licky-mush. More licky-mush? Yum yum.

By Monday it was becoming more difficult to get her to eat. Maybe she is just going off it, I thought. I started to heat it a little. She ate it.

The wobbly back legs recovered, which gave us hope. And I think you were all right about the meowing round the litter box- I think it used to hurt, so she was scared it would again, hence the continued crying. This still happens, but not for a as long.

But.....

I have been up through the night with her. She is refusing all food and I have to encourage her to drink her water. She gave up washing herself days ago; I am doing it with a warm, wet flannel. In the night, for a little while, her back legs went floppy and she seemed to have trouble lifting her head. It was flopped down and leaning to one side.

I stayed with her by the fire and got her to settle on my tummy for a while, with a blanket.

Now she is in her box with a hot water bottle. She has had a drink but refuses food. Maybe I should try to give her some with a syringe into the side of the mouth? But I do think i may be putting off the inevitable now........

I fear this is her last weekend, poor sweet girl....... she is a shadow of her former self. This isn't fair any more. I think if she were human she'd be on dialysis right now. I think she is feeling sick and yuck.....I feel so guilty to approach giving up stage, but I love her, and she trusts me, and part of that has to be being able to say, no more, that's enough now, no more.....

39 comments:

Di said...

Hi Helena
I've sent you an email - I can't think just what to say except that you will know in your heart what to do for the best for Fluffy. Big Hugs, Di xx

Admiral Hestorb said...

Sending much love and heartfelt sympathy. It is the hardest thing when a loved little one is suffering.

Bodecea said...

Dear Helena,

Best wishes and much sympathy for you and Fluffy from Bodecea and her four hairy friends!

Bodecea

The Island Cats said...

We are so sorry to hear Fluffy is not doing well. We send her and you lots of purrs.

Found art blog said...

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I'm so sorry....... mega hugs all round.

Brian said...

My sisters and I are sending love, purrs and hugs for you and Fluffy. Sometimes the most difficult decisions are the kindest and most loving. That does not make them easy. We've been there. Purrs, Brian, Sascha, Gracie, Zoe & Dolly.

Angel and Kirby said...

You are faced with the hardest decision. We faced it two years ago with our Wizard. We will keep you in your thoughts and hearts.

Noll's Nip said...

Whatever happens, Fluffy knows you love her and have shown her kindness and comfort. Sending you some purrs.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

You have come to a very hard decision point and that is never fun! We know you love Fluffy and want what's best for her. Sending purrs and tail wags.

Punapippuri said...

Purrs for you all in this horrible time. You will know what to do though.....

Tia said...

Ah Helena, I'm so sorry to hear that you've reached this point. Know that I'm thinking of you. Have the strength to do what's right, whatever that may be. Tia's human.

mrsnesbitt said...

Hi Helena, sitting here with tears flowing for you and Fluffy. As responsible pet owners we know when the time is right...because we love those little souls who are so lucky to have found big hearts to share. Bless you both xxxxxx

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Loving them is easy, loving them enough to let them go...not so much. We all must reach that point if we live with and love our babies long enough and it never, ever gets any easier.

freebird said...

Helena, if your kitty is in an active state of dying then the forcing food would be more of a pain than an aid. I don't know as the vet would be necessary now. If her kidneys are truly shutting down it's just a matter of keeping her as comfy as possible and waiting it out. Sometimes our brains, and I would think a cat's too, give off chemicals at a time like this for self sedation or pain stoppage. Let's hope she is much more comfy than you are at this time. That's quite likely you know. This is when being the pet owner sucks but think of all the joys you and she have had together. You've had many years together even though that is never good enough - we want forever.

Julie said...

Bless her, she has fought so hard. You should not feel guilty, you have done everything you could for her. Sending you a big hug and purrs to Fluffy. xx

Furkidsmom said...

We're so sorry that Fluffy is getting ready to leave for the Bridge. (((Hugs))) and Purrs.

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

Old Kitty said...

Me and my cat Charlie came over from the Cat Blogosphere where Brian told us about your poor kitty Fluffy. We came right over to give you and Fluffy lots of hugs and purrs over the ether. We are so sorry to hear of her illness. She sounds like a fighter, defying all the odds and vet predictions. Take care please and stay strong! xx

The Misadventures Of Me said...

We offer our bestest purrs and headbutts to yoo Fluffy.

Molly
Shadow
Trooder
Mooch

Stardust said...

I'm so sorry for you Helena, that's so painful. I really hope fate is kind to Fluffy, I'm glad at least she's loved by you and yours. Am 'pityin' your situation there...

Hugs..

Samantha, Clementine and Maverick said...

Purrrrs and hugs for Fluffy and you Helena!!! We will keep you in our prayers during this difficult time!!
Your TX furiends,

MISS PEACH ~(^.^)~ said...

my poor heart just aches to hold you close dear friend...I am so sad that you are on this road with your precious Fluffy...hold her close and keep yourself well...she will tell you when it is time to go and then maybe not, and the angel cats will come to gather her up into the heavens.
There are no good words of comfort at this sad time...one must be brave and face each day one at a time. Know how much we care for you and feel your every heartbeat right now...
Love Karla and miss Peach

The Lee County Clowder said...

We are so sad to read that Fluffy might be ready to go to The Bridge. Sending our best comforting purrrrrrss and purrrayers.

Cat said...

I am so sorry to hear about Fluffy! Sometimes the kindest thing to do is the most difficult decision to make.

Kat's Kats said...

Purrs & Prayers from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde & their Feeders...

Zaphoid says, "Our brofur Nicodemus the Evile Anti-Koala got to the point where he stopped eating and would just drink water. He laid on mom's bathroom floor at our old house. It was right across from the kitty litter and it was heated!! (we thought that was really neat) He didn't want to go to the vet. One day mom picked him up in his favorite towel and put him on her chest while she lay in bed. She pet him and he purred. We all came up (in order of seniority! mom was surprised!) and gave him head butts & grooming to say good-bye until we see him again over the Rainbow Bridge. After he left, we saw him again but he wasn't in the body that hurt anymore. It made us all sad for a while but we all remember how happy it made us to be with him."

Karen Jo said...

I am so very sorry that Fluffy has reached this stage. You face the hardest decision of all. Your heart will tell you what the best thing for Fluffy will be, because of how much you love her.

Karen said...

We are sending purrs and prayers your way

Karen, Pixel and Samba

Everycat said...

We are sending you and darling Fluffy so much love and many rumbly purrs. Be still, be there, be love.

Whicky Wuudler
Oliver
& Gerry

Kea said...

Helena, we're sending you and Fluffy mega-purrs and healing Light. If it is her time, we wish her a peaceful and gentle journey to the Bridge, freedom from suffering.

And we wish you peace in your heart, knowing that whatever you choose to do, you are acting for her Highest Good.

Blessings and Peace.

Milo and Alfie Marshall said...

We don't know Fluffy ~ but we are still very sad to hear this noos. We are sending love and purrs to yoo both, to help yoo through this awful time.

MoMo said...

We are so sorry to hear that Fluffy is suffering. It is a terribly hard time for both the kitty and those who love her

i beati said...

This is Evie's last too they shall pitter pat together....2 wonderful long lives..

Ginger Jasper said...

I am sending lots of love and purrs for sweet Fluffy. I know so much how you are feeling and how much it hurts, but yes you are so right Fluffy trusts you and the ultimate act of love is knowing when she has had enough and is ready to go with no more suffering. Fluffy knows you will do the right thing whe the time is right. Thinking of ou and so sending out huge love to you.. Hugs GJ xx

Eric and Flynn said...

We don't know Fluffy but heard about her from Brian. We are so very sorry that you have to make this decision. She has had a long and happy life with you and now you know that the ultimate act of love you can give her is to help her make her journey to the Bridge. We are purring for a gentle crossing for her.

AFSS said...

We are very sorry to read of Fluffy's continued decline. We are sending healing and comforting purrs.

meowmeowmans said...

We are sending gentle purrs and prayers for Fluffy and you. Thank you for loving her so much and so well.

Father Tom said...

We are so sorry you both have to go through so much pain and sadness over Fluffy's condition. We want to send our prayers and hugs to you as we all hope for the best for Fluffy. What a trooper she is and she's adorable sleeping in your lap!

Tom, Julie and Vinny

Sammy and Andy said...

We are so sad to hear that Fluffy is fixin' to head off for the Bridge.......we are purraying for Fluffy and for you....it is always so difficult for the loved ones they leave behind....we hope knowing we care will be a small comfort to you.

The Creek Cats said...

Sending you lots of purrs, love and comforting vibes. (((hugs)))

Feronia said...

Poor dear Fluffy. You are as wonderful a carer as she could hope for.
With love and hugs to you all,
Feronia x